As I reflect upon the person I was and honor the person I have become my heart smiles back at me. There were a lot of years I practiced demanding what I wanted instead of practicing self advocacy. Not only did I demand in body language and words, I drank at, smoked at , and ate at people and situations not delivering my emotional demands! Hindsight is one of my greatest assets as it empowers me to review my history and see the evolution of my walking my talk into a better version of myself! It was not until I embraced the ownership of my knowing internally a depth of deserving respect and worthiness, of knowing I was good enough, and of valuing the essence of who I am independent of successful achievements, the opinions of anyone else, or my outward appearance that I could step into the superpower of intentional self advocacy.
That unhealed part of me that I used to demonstrate practiced demanding what I insisted I receive had deep roots in a need of entitlement, emotional frustrations, rigid patterns of thoughts and behaviors fueled with repeated attempts to control outcomes. I lived a life of affirming what I must have which only resulted in conflicts with others. I also denied to myself and to anyone who asked that I was demanding anything! My unawakened self believed I was practicing self care to advocate for myself when I actually was hanging tightly to internal anger at all that was going on outside of myself , and almost all my decisions, my actions, my communications were based upon that need to be in control!
The shift of consciousness into becoming a more Zen Self Advocator began when I got gut level honest about how I was running around helping others and putting myself on the back burner. I often was surrounding myself with those who had emotional, physical, medical, and trauma issues and spent many hours doing for them thinking I was this warm, compassionate being. It took me quite a while to accept my need to validate myself through attracting person after person who were symbolizing being the same person with a different face was my priority. Now there is nothing wrong with wanting to help others..in fact it is an admirable trait. However when our focus is trying to gather evidence we are worthy and valuable through our continual giving ourselves to them instead of first recognizing our needs, wants, and even boundaries are valid and owning the truth we have a right to be respected for who we are..not what we do, we will never come to experience the superpower of intentional self advocacy.
Once I embraced the fact that I was equally worthy to everyone else , and worth standing up for myself , I found my voice of courage to speak up for myself with a calm conviction. I stopped demanding that I receive by practicing self love, gratitude, and learning to say no . I gradually got clear on what I needed by knowing what I wanted without being pushy or obnoxious in voicing my needs. I stopped explaining with long tirades of verbalizations of unimportant details . I simply learned how to state without aggression. By using positive self talk and clarity of knowing myself internally, I was able to know what I sincerely wanted in life and in all my relationships. None of this change happened overnight.
As my inner confidence grew once I understood my personal needs, my rights as an equal human in the world, and began communicating effectively and assertively without demanding, I observed I had become an intentional self advocator. After practicing this different way to get what I really wanted and needed, a new aspect of this shift revealed itself. I was surrendering expectations of how my self advocacy would manifest! I let go of perceived outcomes and of how others would respond to my words and the new strengthened body language. I wore the world as a loose cloak of inner knowledge that the Universe always has my back and will always match my vibrations of self love and self respect!! My prior self looked at my present self in amazement for that old Controlling, Demanding self had learned new ways to achieve what I wanted and needed in all situations. Intentional Self Advocacy is indeed a superpower when practiced within reflection and inner work. Even when we slip back momentarily to the old way of living our life, our bodies (which can never lie!) will remind us once we return to self love we will stand up tall, stand for ourselves and know we are living the life we always deserved!
“To be an activist is to speak. To be an advocate is to listen. Society can’t move forward without both.” – Eva Marie Lewis
“I learned the wisest thing I can do is to be on my own side.” -Maya Angelou
I have not worn a watch in many years. Initially my motive was because of the high level of energy within my body because I have knocked out every watch I have ever owned..expensive ones, cheap ones, any watch. Turned out this was one of those hidden blessings . It keeps me on some level of not constantly checking in with time . Thinking of the illusion of time lately and phrases we have claimed regarding time: “Time flies; time waits for no one; killing time; all in good time; it’s high time; time heals all; time waits for no one; will do it in good time; making use of time; time to go!!“
In spite of not wearing a watch there are other aspects of my life directly related to my personal relationship with time. My personal truth within my heart knowledge is I am sure I have some illusions still to work out and surrender . Every facet of my life in which time is of importance within my thoughts that feed into emotions are about either wanting to believe I have control over those things I really have no control over in the first place , my practice of impatience , or a fear that I will run out of time before what I demand of life is manifested . Then there are those chunks of moments when I am going with the flow, loving the present I find myself experiencing , and knowing there is only Divine Timing for all situations and opportunities.
When I have, in my adult life, needed to believe I must make efficient use of each minute, have my planner filled with activities both for productivity and for play, or getting wrapped up in the destination instead of the journey I have slipped into the obsession of time. Maybe for some people making great use of each minute proves their self worth to themselves. Maybe for others they are concerned they will run out of time before a specific goal is met such as their bucket list or having enough time of feeling successful because of achievements. Then there are those who feel regretful for not having (or taking) the time to do all they wanted to accomplish, and those regrets may sit in the subconsciousness only to be dredged up in thoughts of past failures or missed opportunities .
Probably it depends upon the stage of life you find yourself that will determine your relationship with time. When we were in high school we looked to what we wanted to achieve in our future, and carried the belief we had lots of time to get done what we wanted to accomplish. When at the initiation of a romantic, friendship, or business partnership we may have thought we had time to work through our respective quirks and compromises . Sometimes we had a lifetime to accomplish this or sometimes we experienced a loss and never got to have our expectations met or our intentions fulfilled. As we reach our elder years we may not look forward to planning the next ten to twenty years because of our thoughts regarding our mortality or we may embrace an attitude of gratitude for all the parts of our journey we have been blessed to live .
For many in all cultures the Time-Lack Syndrome is reality. Regardless of your age when you feel you never have enough time in any 24 hour period to get it all done, you are a Chaser of Time. When this type of consciousness consumes you ( even if you were unaware it did) stress, anxiety, guilt, remorse, and frustration is the result. The truth actually is there are plenty of days when you had enough time but your mindset that you did not became your constant belief. Here are some examples you may resonate with: * You feel constantly needing to hurry and do something else even when there is no one pressuring you except yourself *You feel guilty for resting and practicing self care in taking effective breaks *You frequently tell yourself the mantra: I will never get caught up and finish what is needed to be done *You are the Champion Multitasker even during leisure time *You limit your pleasurable, fun times because you cannot fit it in due to not enough time *You do not allow yourself to claim the skillset to look around at your residence, your life without seeing things you need to be doing and taking care of right now.
A Chaser of Time thinker is never manifested as only an annoying thought. It is a pattern you have claimed and has significant repercussions on your emotions, how you show up not only for others but also for yourself, and determines how you live your life. Without inventorying and honestly looking at this pattern, over time it becomes the catalyst of your daily life and sucks the joy, contentment, and life force energy right out of you!
Is this familiar? Trouble maintaining your attention and focus as you jump from task to task, saying yes way too often due to fear of missing out on an opportunity , running on empty but not stopping as you jump to the next thing to do, difficulty being present with those you care about because you are constantly thinking of how much time is left in the day , everything is beginning or has felt like an unpleasant chore, and resenting others who you feel are getting away with doing less yet you, yourself will not ask for help.
Even if and especially when you are aware you have become a Chaser of Time there is a solution! 1. Change your self talk and the words you say aloud: Instead of “No time for that” switch to “Right now I am choosing to focus on this. or I will create the space and energy for that in a few days or next week.” 2. Put your attention and focus only on what you can control. No matter what monkey wrench life throws in your direction , you cannot control it all no matter how hard you try! Release that perfectionism and ask yourself : What can wait and what is good enough just for this day? When you put your attention on just what you CAN do, you shift from being a victim of lack of time into the Claimer and Taking ownership of your precious time. 3. Busy productivity is not about doing more. It is about doing what truly is important and what really matters. Write this Mantra where you will see it : FUN AND DOING NOTHING IS BEING PRODUCTIVE AND CREATES MORE ENERGY FOR EVERYTHING ELSE!!! 4. Leave unscheduled time in your planner and do NOT fill it up with busy-ness. 5. Before you go to the next thing to do, stop, pause, take several deep breaths, and only do ONE thing without multitasking.
If you are wondering what is underneath lack of time , it is a conglomeration that when we are busy we are worthy, perfectionism is an illusion we are succeeding, and we carry a belief that was either created by our original caregivers or ourselves of how much we “SHOULD” get done daily.
It really is true that when we change our mindset from a lack of time, from being a Time-Chaser to being an Abundant Being as opposed to Doing Doing Doing as we choose to practice we just might notice little shifts building on each other as we create a refreshing abundant and loving relationship with TIME. This relationship is a KEEPER.
What will you do with all the space you are going to start creating by modifying your relationship with Time? Maybe start with that amazing SMILE on your beautiful face!!
“The key is in not spending time, but investing in it” -Stephen R. Covey
“Time is an illusion” -Albert Einstein
“This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
Have you pondered if your life has only been fate, luck or has it all been random experiences? Why did you get placed in your family of origin? Why were you born as the gender you were? What is the real reason you were born at this time on the planet?Depending upon your perceptions to the answers you believe, you may go through life in a prison of fear and powerlessness carrying a belief that some Force outside of yourself holds the reins of which you have no control! Do you simply accept this to be true or might you have bought into a false sense of it all? I propose to you that the reality is you really do have the personal power to shift how your life experiences manifest when you co-create with Divine Source. Before you anticipate I am going to suggest you grab those reins and jump into CONTROL, know it is not about taking, but about surrendering control and attracting situations, people, places, things that align or match with your core values and intentions!
Destiny is not a random layer of experiences…it is actually a gathering of choices, decisions, actions, and self responsibilities that determine and mold who we really are and what we will experience in this thing called Life! Add to this recipe of ingredients, for me my whole adult life has always had the greatest Lightbulb moments during Autumn! You just may want to reflect on which is your season of AHA clarities.
For many years I carried a self-defeating ,victimized mentality. I truly believe those, which includes most of us, have had scars of unhealed aspects stemming from our original role models (family of origin, teachers, siblings, even culture and society). I know I had my own which disempowered me to believe I was a wounded animal and demonstrated to the world to be an aggressive doormat. Until I woke up from this unhappy , even controlling personality I offered partners, co workers, friends, and strangers I believed this was my lot of life. I cannot tell you the day or the month I sat straight up in my world and made a decision to live life on my terms but I did wake up and in my heart of hearts knew anything is possible! I remembered as a young child that life can be magical. Back then I really did see the evidence, but trauma and pain began darkening that truth…for quite a while. Upon my awakening as I crawled out of the cocoon of what was to become my metamorphosis, I knew my destiny was mine to shape and co-create with Divine Source. I also began seeing the evidence that inside my cocoon were still remnants of my chrysalis which actually was parts of my body!
The deeper I was willing to go in shaping my destiny and allowing the shift of consciousness of my own chrysalis which held my oldest core issues, this interesting awareness came! As I was on a journey of releasing, surrendering one by one my tightly held fears..fear of abandonment, fear of not being good enough, fear in intimate relationships I would lose my freedom of spirit, and fear I was fake and not really authentic ..underneath each of those fears a bigger piece which was actually my chrysalis body showing itself!! This was astounding to me to open and claim responsibility for! This piece was my total truth of who I really was all along..but hidden from me because I had to first uncover what had been layered on top of it . Not only was it hidden from myself but definitely I hid it from those who came in contact with me..bosses, siblings, parents, teachers, co workers, friends, therapists, coaches and lovers! One crucial piece of this pie of knowing my total truth of existence, of the Sacred Essence of me was to recognize and act upon how I authentically expressed my truth of my Essence in all settings with all people, holding nothing back from anyone! Being gut level honest, 100% willing had to be colored with pure vulnerability! I know that sounds scary and it has been but until I knew I wanted to take the deepest dive into the shadows of Plutonian energies I could only half way shape my destiny! Because I was co-creating my destiny with Divine Source and had made a Sacred Contract with that Divinity each step along this precious ladder of revelations more and more was revealed to me! I had become after quite a few years of doing this inner work the author, actor, and producer of my DESTINY!
Should you be wondering is this work worth it ? I assure you even though it is not for the faint-hearted every single strand of becoming who I see in the mirror which involved many deep dives into the ocean of the unknown was not only worth it, I know I deserved to make all the discoveries I have made, and now invite you who want to dig deeper on your own pathway to becoming partners with your destiny. Autumn always is the season where my awarenesses blossom into fruition. You may want to find which of the seasons is yours. The Ancient Civilizations of Egypt, Greece, Rome, Celtic, and others taught about the lessons and opportunities of each season. Many of us are returning to those teachings that mirror and expand Truth.
I want to share a few ideas and ways of my discoveries with you..just in case you are in the midst of wiggling out of your own cocoon…
Know and understand with crystal clear vision who you desire to be. You get to make that choice. Look at what you are passionate about, what stands out in importance to you, and what evidence do you want to show yourself of what the authentic YOU looks like.
Claim and embrace what circumstances, attitudes, and the players on the stage of your life you can change. Be realistic and do NOT even look at those things you cannot change. Know the only thing you really are capable of changing and shifting is your perception and mindset. How? Question yourself and the story you have been holding onto about who and what you are. Look at your limiting and self defeating beliefs about why you are the way you are and how you view the world . When you get gut level honest you are more likely to have light bulb epiphanies of these very things that have been the blocks preventing you from stepping into full power of your DESTINY.
Release and stop living out of your past. Forgive every single person and situation you feel has hurt, tortured, and maimed you. The past is gone. It is only your repeated telling it to yourself and holding onto old pain when you label it as a source of harm. If you see your past as a set of positives that have created your strengths and assets , by all means view those portions of your life with gratitude.
Decide the WHO you want to claim as your destiny in each of your relationships including that relationship that will last your whole lifetime…the one you have with yourself. Write it down on paper in the form of intentional action steps. Look closely at any patterns you are still using especially with your intimate partnerships, even those who you still after their physical deaths are continuing to engage in a partnership. Surrender, forgive, and alter as necessary.
Core principles to becoming the Master and Co-Creator of Our Destiny as I see it are
*Take responsibility and accept you and you alone are in charge of your choices. You are not a victim of circumstances or situations.
*Set clear and specific intentions you desire to achieve along with attainable actions as you identify your passions and know what motivates you.
*Create a practice of self mastery as you cultivate control over your internal world in frequent management of your mind, body, and emotions. Utilize mindfulness as you stick to your plan for personal, emotional, spiritual, and physical maintenance.
*View challenges as opportunities for your progress. Reflect on what did not work for you in the past not to beat up on yourself but to see what you could have done with a different mindset and use that to go forward in your life.
*Practice self discipline sandwiched with resilience. When obstacles show up or disappointment is experienced, do not allow it to stop you in your tracks .
*Be a flexible adjuster as situations and circumstances change.
*Create a web of positive support with those who honor and inspire you. Say “NO” in order to maintain what is a priority. Know what is valid for your progress and avoid people pleasing choices.
“You are the master of your destiny. You can influence , direct, and control your own environment. You can make your life what you want it to be.”-Napoleon Hill : Think And Grow Rich
“It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves” -William Shakespeare: Julius Caesar
As long as I can remember my greatest and most significant epiphanies have come during the last three months of every year.Presently I am traveling from my home driving across the country exploring new adventures . Traveling solo is usually my choice as it offers me time to ponder, reflect, and re-set my Sacred Intentions not only for the coming months, but also for my Personal Alignment with the world.In this current journey I have been alone in nature and places new to me, visited with friends, and allowed my innermost thoughts to bubble to the surface.
Ms. Autumn in her splendor and wisdom has had her arms around me in ways never before experienced. She always invites me to learn about embracing change as an aspect of my inner growth as she mirrors to me her own changes in letting go , slowing down, and embodying the changing season with a flowing transition of letting it all be instead of resistance to change.
As I have observed cooler temperatures , falling leaves, Mother Earth clearing herself with earthquakes/storms, and even interesting political agendas across the globe, I have accepted with change comes chaos. The majority of the Collective , I have found, resist and fight chaos within the changes that really are for the Greater Good. Fear often accompanied with anger can keep those desperately not only yearning to remain in the ways of the past they perceived as the way life was supposed to look but also through the refusal to believe the Great Re-set and Shift of Humanity is actually occurring as many are staying stuck in a mire of insisting on controlling what is happening . Autumn smiles as she shows us the beauty and grace of imperfections as seasonal shifts are what creates a refreshing uniqueness as she whispers …”Child, just let go and watch the evolution of transitional bursting that results in outcomes of a complete metamorphosis. Chaos of the imperfections falling away leads to the portal of an awakening most never even considered was wanted or needed! “
Lately Autumn has offered me an opportunity to live my life through a river of unconditional love ..love for myself, love for all beings regardless of what it appears outside of myself. As I observe the still unhealed parts of myself and others manifesting in still wanting to blame and some even condemn what is happening in my country and in the world, Autumn shows me I can rejuvenate my old ideas with patience, tolerance, and clarification of visionary truth . When I ask Her why is this necessary and why is it even happening She once again smiles and replies : “Child, growth is never linear but is spiral. When we accept and allow our inner light to radiate upon each other whether as a tree or as a human, living Consciousness elevates to a higher frequency with resilience and amazing transmutation .”
Again Autumn and Love herself have reminded me of the importance of balance. In my own personal experiences I reflect upon times of challenges showing up yet they have been weathered by me and I moved forward. Yet during the challenge I was often like a toddler pitching a temper tantrum wanting to have the resolution of peace, begging for what I wanted when I demanded it. The silver lining always appeared as I emerged out of the perceived chaos into a new Me, vibrant and stronger than I believed was ever possible!
The epiphanies I am living through , gifts Autumn is presenting to me to freely take of embracing change, finding balance, wearing resilience , letting my light shine, seeing the gorgeous apparition of imperfection in the transformations, re-defining my intentions of who and what I am, and above all releasing what is not serving my Highest, Best Good, I envision what was there all along was an opportunity for new possibilities of growth as I join all other beings on the Path of a New World in the Spiritual Revolution of Love.
I thank you, Miss Autumn, for demonstrating how you embrace impermanence and I accept your invitation to appreciate and *ahem* even welcome change as a catalyst to internal joy that I freely share with others.
For most people the very word “grief” carries a connotated association with suffering . Grief is always the emotional reaction and response to a loss, creating layers of emotions from a depth of sadness to anger which can lead to surprisingly, peace and even relief. Grief and loss are universal experiences felt by humans, animals, even trees. These experiences are so profound that they can reshape our lives in a wide range of ways capable of a metamorphosis of change.
Loss is never limited to the death of a loved person or pet. It can also include the ending of a partnership or other relationship, a personal injury or illness with loss of control of our body, job/career changes , unattainable dreams and aspirations, retirement, aging, financial/investment instability, surrendering an addiction, loss of faith, and loss of identity due to any kind of abuse at any age.
In the journey of our pain grief offers the opportunity of immense and significant personal transformation. It can be the catalyst just as astounding as the caterpillar’s transition into a gorgeous butterfly. When grief shows up the journey of its experience will push us into the confrontation of our authentic selves, whether we want to go there or not. Reflecting on different griefs of my life I have become aware once I walk THROUGH, not around and not denying the grief, I am catapulted into a new version of myself from the person I was before the loss presented itself to me. Some were more challenging than others. Each one has had a variety of lessons and with each one the ordinary person I thought I was grew into an extraordinary being I never dreamed I even wanted to become!
I have watched myself and others experience grief in different ways. Some find beyond incredible avenues of healing. Some remain bitter and resentful and stay stuck in their pain. I do know grief is not a one time journey and we are done . It comes in waves. So many times I thought I was complete with grieving a loss only to have it pop up again. For me, each new grief has carried with it some aspect of a prior grief that has tapped my heart requesting some sort of closure that had not been completed before. Though when feeling those kind of feelings sometimes it seems unfair but then I remember this is all part of my human experience , and is the greatest affirmation of my capability to love . Without being able to love no one is capable of grieving …for love and grief somehow are sandwiched on an equal menu.
I have become aware also there does not exist a cookie-cutter approach to healing from any loss or with any way to grieve. However, there is one most powerful tool that I have found that helped me heal from those losses I never thought possible. Because for many years I have embraced the teachings of ancient cultures, that very pathway became a portal for not dealing…but healing grief. Traditions in ancient cultures practiced mourning and grieving rituals. Rituals have existed since civilization began, and I carry the belief they still are valid solutions today.
During the Middle Ages in Europe public verbal/social expressions of grief both honored the deceased and also supported the individuals grieving. Special planning happened with dancing, music, food, beverages, and even games. The entire community practiced ceremony for all, and especially for those mourning the losses. Other cultures such as those of Indigenous Cultures had wailing rituals, allowing people to emotionally and verbally express their grief loudly. Public mourning was not just accepted, it was encouraged! Irish wakes included a combination of celebration and open mourning. New Orleans has jazz funeral parades illustrating sadness with festive joy. Different faiths utilize rituals in the grieving process such as the Jewish shiva, Islamic jiddah, and Buddhist meditation practices.
Because grief rituals fulfill for us our emotional, spiritual, mental, and physical needs by acknowledging publicly they can pave the way for emotional release and provide community support. Much documented research shows structured mourning practices significantly reduce grief and create pathways to honor our pain and enable us to move forward not just in grieving a death, but in grieving any loss.
In addition, expressing to our trusted friends, family, and loved ones that we still need to talk about our grief as it comes up (with no limit on time this occurs) this continues to be a valid piece of healing from any loss in our lives. When we honor our individual path by finding what works for us and take action, we are participating in our own healing from our pain. What we do for ourselves we do for all!
As we integrate our losses moving from grief to acceptance the practice of gratitude can empower us to unbelievably move from being an ordinary to an extraordinary being. I have often used the practice of Ho’oponopono for self forgiveness in different grieving processes for any time I have the illusions of self imposed guilt that I did not do enough or that I could have somehow prevented a loss from manifesting. Another great practice is the Buddhist practice of Tonglen to cultivate self compassion. My journey through various griefs of my own life has offered a few unexpected surprises that once again I did not see coming while in the throws of grieving. Some have been:
-Accepting what I cannot change
-Honoring my strengths that come out of my willingness to grieve any loss and sharing them with others as an act of genuine service to another
-Appreciation of who/what was lost that is now gone
-Coming to terms with what is presently important and valuable to me
-Appreciating my own life and knowing with confidence I do have the coping skills to walk through any monkey wrench life throws at me
It is normal to feel challenged in adjusting to any loss after it happens. If you find you cannot find ways to function after a few weeks or months, it is time to reach out to a group, a coach, a counselor, or another Professional. We are in this thing called life together, and together we can heal and create the vision of a wonderful world for us and for the next Seven Generations to come.
“The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.” – Khalil Gibran
“Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom. ” -Rumi
Some weeks I experience soaring through multitudes of portals into new awakenings of consciousness. This has not been one of those weeks. I am calling this a week of Cosmic Funkiness. A week ago when I turned on my faithful laptop I saw a 3/4 black screen display and 1/4 of colored spider web shapes. It clearly was sick. Two days later my town of 26,000 had a water main break causing a boil water advisory for the entire city and part of the county lasting for a few days. In the outer world all throughout the week interesting political agendas were served on a platter of distraction sandwiches. Because one of my practices is meditation I took the cosmic funky week there in the silence and heard “ releasing any expectation of how I perceive life is supposed to show up is crucial!” Every night I was having strange dreams including one night I had 5 different ones!
I have never been a superficial observer of my own or the world events of life , and this week of cosmic funk had my attention. Being sensitive to energies it did not surprise me to find out a Black New Moon was on its way. A Black new moon occurs about every 29-33 months and is a third new moon in a season that has four. When a fourth sneaks in, it is rare. This black moon means near total darkness creating darker than usual night skies.
Symbolically a black moon is a powerful time for releasing that which is not serving us. Not only that but it is actually a significant reset and turning point both globally and in our respective lives. So, this black moon HIDES! It is offering us each a chance to integrate portals of our shadow with compassion. Our shadow side is that part of us we try to hide from ourselves, the side we perceive to be unacceptable, offensive, repressed emotions, desires, impulsivity, and negative thoughts.
As I reflect on the possibilities of transformation during this black moon I feel the calling of the Hindu Goddess , Kali who is associated with time, great change, and destruction of injustices , pain, sorrow, death, and decay. Kali perhaps is calling each of us during the dark new moon to accept, not deny what needs to die within us . She reveals our mortality to our innermost being by showing we (who finally are willing ) to be released from the web of rationalization and pretense that has cloaked our very existence! Kali offers us to step into fierce battle with her to uphold our internal cosmic order over disorder.
Both the black moon and Kali impose questions upon us reminding each the deep work of the Mystical Warrior is not for the faint of heart. Do you choose stagnation of how you are living or do you embrace this huge push of a re-set? Are you willing to shed your old, depleted skin or will you resist by holding on to all blocking you? What are you pretending not to see in yourself? What habits and patterns continue to drain your personal power? Where do you need to practice self forgiveness? What new intentions for skills and talents are you ready and willing to create and develop? What negative patterns need to be cleansed and purified? What fears and attachments need to be severed? What people , false beliefs , and situations need to be cut out of your life?
No matter what you choose to deny under the Black New Moon, the Universe will know if you are choosing to re-set or to do nothing.False intentions and feeble efforts of change will boomerang halfway and will give you only half results.
It is a time to seek deep attunement with yourself, with all relationships, and with your place in your community and the world. You can choose to engage by creating a sacred space for yourself, journal your specific intentions for the creation of new starts, and act on cleansing and release rituals. The dark sky is perfect for introducing and accepting positive changes as we surrender old patterns in a pathway for new possibilities. Welcome the darkness in order to claim the freedom of your destined Light. Only you can decide and put into action planting of seeds to grow into fruition.
” If everything around you seems dark, look again, you may be the Light.” — Rumi
I really believe I was born with a different reality than my parents, my siblings, my teachers, my co-workers, and many friends. Lately in conversations with a few people it has become apparent to me that we perceive and judge the same situation with an entirely different view. This truth has made me feel more comfortable with certain friends whom I was observing that no matter what the topic , a few always have had a different interpretation than mine. I have chosen to look at this with a new mindset. It is not about I am right and they are wrong. Because I have never looked at life in a superficial way and have always delved into deeper interpretations , I have felt challenged in living the human experience among many humans. Sometimes I have considered this is because I was born a Visionary Aquarian who since birth questioned the rules of society and when others have clearly misinterpreted or were often clueless in things I state my internal WHAT???? flooded my mind. Most of my adult life because I have experienced the world about me with a Mystical point of view I also questioned if I really am from this planet. Maybe that is just one of my perceptions!
Factors that can influence perceptions are personal experiences, present emotional states, cultural backgrounds, prejudices and biases, unresolved grudges and traumas, and core values. A person who is feeling fearful and anxious may feel defensive and perceive what seems to be a neutral event/situation as threatening while another in the same situation feels calm and grounded. Someone with long held conscious or subconscious beliefs may attach them and only focus / consider an event in a manner based on the cognitive information sandwiched in their pre-existing beliefs.
Individual perceptions shape our behaviors, even our decisions. One person may interpret another’s opinion and actions as rigid while the other may feel they are being open minded. This is because our perceptions are filtered to the lens of how we interpret reality! This fact may help us understand how discrimination is formed against particular groups by demonstrating how distorted and unfair negative attitudes are manifested.
Even all forms of communications are influenced and affected by perceptions. How we think and feel about others and how we feel they think about us significantly factors in how we communicate. Misunderstandings can rise out of our interpretations/misinterpretations of written texts/emails, facial expressions, tone of voice, even choice of vocabulary!
Perhaps greater harmony, especially in strong differences of opinion, could be created in our world if we each became willing to invest in self awareness of our respective perceptions. It may not be easy as perceptions are often ones we have held onto tightly for a lifetime. Many are unwilling to change sheerly out of the resistance to dive deeper and even consider an alternative view. By choosing not just to step outside of our proverbial box, but to throw that box away, and create a new box that may be outside of our safe, comfort zone, we just may succeed in altering our ingrained perceptions. How? First, develop a mindful practice of honest awareness of how and when our perceptions in our past and present influence our opinions, choices, relationships, and actions. If willing to assess ourselves without judgment ,guilt, or regret we may make new discoveries of how our perceptions have been our chosen portals of life experiences.Only by looking at our own perceptions can we decide if they are valid and if they are aligned with how we really want to show up in all areas of our lives.
I personally have found each time I jump off one more proverbial cliff not knowing if I will even land, and ask myself just exactly how I am viewing the world, each of my relationships, and accepting modifications of what I previously thought was the only reality, I am pushed into a new dimension of being a better version of myself!
” All things are subject to interpretation. Which ever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.” -Friedrich Nietzche
”Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask: What else could this mean?” -Shannon L Alder
I often reflect on the wisdom of the Ancient Civilizations and how pertinent their teachings can be applied today. With the rise in technology in the past few years I wonder if it is higher technology we need or if it is remembering how the sacred elements taught humankind how to be in harmony with nature. Almost every ancient civilization embraced five elements: Water-Earth-Fire-Air-Ether. Recently because of severe flooding in various parts of the United States I have been called to honor Water. In addition at the time I am writing it is also the time of a full moon. When I took both these themes into meditation I had one of those AHA moments of the connection. Both water and the moon are about reflection. The illumination of the full moon is a reflection of cycles. I have long understood the full moon amplifies emotions, making it an appropriate time to release strong emotions that come to the surface of my consciousness. Add to this opportunity the element of water which is about inner reflection, renewal, and going deep. There is a Taoist Proverb that comes to mind regarding water: “No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see.”
The lessons of slowing down and through mindful self awareness looking at all versions of ourselves that have made up who we have become in the present , reflecting our human condition in a sacred way , and using the element of water along with the radiance of the full moon as catalysts, I believe can be an internal awakening of asking ourselves some pertinent questions. If we refuse to reflect on the things we have had the opportunities to learn we may forget those things and it stands to reason we will have a harder time applying those very lessons in a world that appears to have been turned upside down and inside out!Asking ourself self reflection questions regularly is transformational and can be the portal to guide us further on our pathway to personal and spiritual growth.
You can decide on your own questions . I thought I would share mine .
-What are my core values and are there any people or situations in my life I allow myself to compromise my values ? Do I compromise out of self love or do I compromise out of people pleasing?
-What challenges and obstacles have I faced and how did I jump over those hurdles to reach success?
-Do I have dreams and ambitions I am willing to sacrifice never attaining? Why and what am I allowing this? Am I comfortable with this choice?
-Are the core group of people in my life those who lift me, empowering me to thrive, or are they sucking me dry leaving me feeling depleted?
-Do I feel free to state my wants and needs? If not, how can I be a more effective communicator with those close to me? Do I risk being vulnerable to ask and state my wishes? Am I willing to do the same for my people?
-Are there any past negative or traumatic experiences contributing to my claiming positive aspects and perspectives? Do I need to reach out to a coach, therapist , or another I trust for help with this?
-Am I happy in my life most of the time? How do I define my happiness?
-Who in my past or present has made an impact on my life? How can I express gratitude about that?
-What am I proud of that I accomplished in my past? What have I done recently that I honor and love that I accomplished?
-What solutions do I now have to get me through challenges ?How do I create new solutions for old patterns of recycled behavior?
Sacred Reflection questions are great but they will not help unless they are applied in various areas of our life. Practice makes progress but we don’t have to be perfect! Sacred reflections when done frequently will help us understand ourselves on a deeper level and pave the way for transformational change . When we celebrate being the best version of ourselves others are inspired to do the same! This is a not only a gift of self love, but a blessing we can offer by being a walking example for our fellow humans!
“I would love to live like a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.” – John O’Donohue
Mother Earth is cleaning her house, dictators are ruling countries, darkness seems to be the coloring of life, wars are ongoing across the globe, people are filled with hatred and defiance, and brothers and sisters are pitted against each other. You may believe this has never happened before in the history of the world. Approximately 5000 years ago society began shifting from goddesses and female deities holding prominent roles to patriarchal cultures where male dominance became prevalent. Looking back 1000 years ago those living in the Middle Ages experienced a world of feudalism in which a rigid societal structure was characterized by nobility holding the wealth and the majority , the serfs, lived in poverty with limited rights and oppression. 100 years ago in America women experienced the right to vote; however racial segregation laws still were in force in different parts of the United States. 50 years ago we witnessed a surge in the environmental movement in the early 1970’s with Clean Water and Endangered Species Laws going into effect. Also the world saw personal computers developed. A mere 10 years ago a rising passion and shift in diversity and more equality was present , andTechnology was increasing. These timelines reflect a shift in consciousness. Even with the changes over the past 5000 years human beings and the collective consciousness still remain at times divided and have not yet reached global unitybut we are making progress!
We may feel as a collective we put one foot forward and get pushed back a yard. Our hopelessness and despair may echo within our thoughts and even in our night dreams. Have you decided it is nearly an impossible feat to find peace? The ever continual news updates may add to our angst leaving us in a state of anger, fear, and overwhelming unsettling helplessness. But just as past beings in times existing before our present struggling to live in chaotic experiences, a golden sliver of hope over hopelessness can be found. Hope and Light does not erase the suffering around us. A perspective of internal peace matched with inner strength is created when we choose to reclaim what we thought we lost. Taking it in baby steps using practices that have worked in our past by giving ourselves sacred space..not to ignore what is occurring globally…but to process without being paralyzed in fear like a rabbit running for its hole to hide in.
When we remember who we truly are..when we live the very best versions of ourselves, we can triumph without living through each day as if it were our proverbial battlefield. Acts of resistance over what seems dark heaviness is possible. I personally look for the gratitude daily in what I presently have in my life. Gratitude has become my security blanket that has been the key to uncovering the strength I forgot I had. I would like to invite you to try some simple steps . The worst thing that can happen is they are not a solution for you, but I am of the mindset why not try and see what happens. We can always return to feelings of defeatism . Here are some ideas:
-Every day focus on three things you currently have in your life that you are grateful for. Focus on what you have…not what you don’t currently have.
-Go outside in nature. Listen to birds, walk in your neighborhood and/or park. Sit in the sun or under the moon and stars.
-Create at least one thing daily to express your feelings: Use writing, humming or any form of music, art, gather rocks, shells, and sticks to make a creative design outside.
-Volunteer in your community at a nursing home, at a food bank or food pantry, at a community garden. Our community needs us!
-When your mind drifts into the good ole days of the past or the fear of the future remind yourself where your feet are in this moment. Express gratitude to your feet that they are inside shoes.
-Do the next right thing, even it is a little thing. The task you can do next can shift your focus from the overwhelm back into the present.
-Light one or more candles in the morning to remember the radiance of Light that always lives within you. Focus on the beauty of the flame both in the candle and within yourself.
-Limit the time you spend watching the news and the time you spend on social media.
-Take deep breaths as you put one hand on your heart and one on your belly. This is our natural gift of being human…to inhale and exhale. It is such a calming gift we can give ourself.
-Talk to someone you trust: a friend, a family member. It is amazing how verbalizing what is replaying in our head can be lessened just by telling it to another.
Choosing hope over hopelessness can be found by picking simple strategies and incorporating them in our lives. When life gets too much, find a Life Coach or other Professional who will be honored to offer guidance.
” Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
“If you knew that hope and despair were paths to the same destination, which would you choose?” -Unknown
Challenges are always going to jump out on our pathway and we cannot prepare ourselves for them! They show up in many varieties, many shapes and aspects. Whether it is a health crisis, a betrayal from someone we trusted, a loss of a job, ending of a relationship, financial woes, death of a loved one or pet, or a world turning topsy-turvy…when the obstacle and challenge presents itself feelings of emotional pain and anguish are riding with us in the same boat. There we are having been living through the plan of life , pretty much happy and free, when suddenly adversity strikes and life is not going our way!Our reptilian brain jumps in feet first imagining the worst scenario, visualizing suffering and trauma of which we will never be able to rise above!!
Our attitudes and perceptions want to provide evidence surely it is better to have this obstacle gone enabling us to jump back into our life plans, right? Wrong! We may find this shocking but no brain of any human was created to be courageous in the face of that T-Rex about to eat them! Obstacles, adversity, and challenges are the golden opportunity to meet the better version of ourself that we did not even know was buried deep within ! Life challenges are the catalyst of the super power of becoming the YOU who you were meant to be all along! Adversity is the sacred portal to amazing resilience —-IF we change our mindset and perceptions about the situation. Possibilities exist paving the way for any of us to be able to see our world with a new set of glasses, a new perspective, and an opportunity to embrace a rebirthing process that has the potential to transform us .
I watched myself and others when the world came to a screeching halt in 2020, a mere five years ago. This adversity for some was a huge awakening. For others perceptions are still wrapped up in either believing it was all a hoax or their finger of blame is still pointing to The Who they think caused the huge obstacle. Because I hold the vision we are ,as a total collective, walking through the greatest shift Humanity has experienced, I offer the invitation for each of us to reflect and embrace an event called a Pandemic was just the beginning of a major dive into an abyss of chaos. This particular series of chaotic upheavals in our Human Experience from which no one has escaped offers an archway of struggling through which we can pick up a Golden key to finding a pathway that we each can courageously accept or vehemently resist.
Should you wish to choose the acceptance path I offer some suggestions:
–Create and build RESILIENCE by first doing inner work and reflections of your usual and typical reactions to stressful situations that show up as adversities.
-Discover techniques to manage your feelings, emotions, and impulsive thoughts and actions by learning how to self regulate your usual behaviors to unexpected situations.
-Find new ways to self regulate your usual reactions and behaviors in response to feelings and emotions instead of acting impulsively. Embrace the PAUSE before acting.
-Use your positive system of friends and loved ones who provide emotional support. You do not have to face challenges alone! Learn to ask for and accept help from others.
-Reframe your obstacles and adversities as an opportunity to grow and increase your internal strength.
-Challenge your negative self talk when it whispers or loudly reverberates in your thoughts by rephrasing the old self talk into positive statements of reprogrammed beliefs. Train your mind to embrace a positive mindset using mindfulness techniques and meditation. When you practice letting negative thoughts pass on by they are stopped in their tracks! Practice makes progress!
-Face your fear about the challenge. Define the fear, and ask if what you are telling yourself is even true. Remember when you have been successful in the past in overcoming previous adversities.
-Think outside the box to discover creative and visionary solutions. Try unconventional methods to tackle what you consider a problem.
-Evaluate options for solutions. Make informed decisions . Take risks and dream BIG and you will see yourself achieving more than you thought you could accomplish!
-Be persistent. Do not give up! Make a plan to walk through the challenge, and follow through. Sometimes taking small steps leads to major and positive outcomes!
-Practice Gratitude and Self Care strategies of getting ample sleep, eating nutritious foods, daily exercise in some way even if it is walking, and BREATHE.
Overcoming obstacles and adversities is possible when we recognize and accept the challenge, develop resilience, practice an attitude of gratitude, and take action steps that lead to greater personal growth internally. Without adversity we may never discover our inner strength and how resilient we can become . When we learn to overcome obstacles and challenges the gift will be the SuperPower of Transformation into the best version of yourself!!!
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
It has taken me a lifetime to not only succeed in focusing intentionally but also to decrease distractions. Even as a kid I would lose my focus. I would start one project only to jump onto two more, never finishing the first one. As a teenager I truly believed I could be a master multitasker, doing several things at once. The problem with that, I came to believe, was multitasking reduces productivity because it gets more challenging to complete even one task efficiently. Thinking multitasking was a viable skill only led to my being stressed because my attention was on the next thing I was attempting to accomplish while trying to complete other tasks. Of course I was in a constant state of denial..pretending I could focus on several things simultaneously when in reality I was embracing distractions!
Most of us can freely acknowledge we are distracted by our phones allowing us to check messages/emails, watch videos, look at the news, jump onto social media, and chat with our friends all throughout our day and evening. We begin focusing on a creative idea for work or for our own interests, start writing about it. A few minutes into our writing we decide to check out our social media, start thinking about a past friendship that ended several years ago, or decided to check our bank balance. Did we choose to be distracted or might there be a trigger that pushed us into distraction?
I believe there are triggers that seemingly make the decisions for us to find distractions, usually outside of ourselves. There are actually a few solutions to creating intentional focus and starving our distractions. First we could PAUSE and check out internally what was going on within that we lost focus in that example of writing. We can ask questions of ourselves: Was I bored with the task? Was I feeling lonely? Was I feeling anxious that I would be unsuccessful in the creative task I had begun? Did fear invade my subconsciousness and jump onto another line of thought or even buying into the belief that social media would give us something we thought we did not have in the moment? It might surprise you to hear that the more we tap into the emotion within that triggered our focus into the urge for a distraction, the more we can feed our focus and starve our need to distract ourselves. We can become interested in the reason instead of grabbing a proverbial two by four to beat ourselves up with a negative thought such as I have a poor attention span, I cannot follow through on chosen projects, or we can play the blame game of blaming social media or unresolved past experiences for robbing our focus! Once we engage in this solution oriented technique we can choose to make a mental or written note: “I am feeling uncomfortable in my skin and feeling tightness in my neck and shoulders. It just might be that I have attempted to follow through on a creative project before , did not complete it, and that may be evidence I waste my valuable time and prove how ineffective I am!” Once we know the underlying truth, a choice appears .either give into the distraction and leave your focus OR tell Mr. or Mrs Distraction “I hear you calling me but right now I am going to put you on hold for a while, and get back to my creative focus!”Making this choice gets us back to our task and brings up a feeling of success!
–Another challenge is about time. Many people create a long list of things to get done in a day and never get most of it accomplished. Studies have shown to-do lists do not generally work..they work to create more stress! A better idea is to appoint a shorter amount of time to tasks in order to feel productive. Pick one task, give it x amount of time, and apply that length of time, stick to it. The difference in having the old long list of things to get done and assigning a certain amount of time to one task beforegoing to another is it actually gets things done! There are two different ideas that research has shown works>>>time boxing and time blocking. With time boxing you focus on an activity such as cleaning out the garage. You set aside a specific time frame and only focus on the cleaning in that time . Another example is answering your emails or texts only from a certain time as 9:30-10:00. Time blocking is more about building routines. Use it when you have a multitude of things to get done. You can use an online calendar, plug in time boxes for the whole day in chunks of time so every part of the day is a visual representation of what you want to accomplish. You always know when and what you have scheduled for the day. You may still think a to-do list is better for you. A to-do list may offer you a sense of achievement as you cross each task off your list but it also can bring up anxiety and overwhelm if you make your list too long or impossible to complete in a day!A to-do list has no time allowed to it. Therefore things may not get done even over 5 days! To have more control over your day of things to accomplish you can look at measuring the tasks you scheduled with the time assigned, and ask yourself: Did I do what I said I would do, and what level of focused attention during each time block do I see evidence of ? In this way you will become a person who others sees as responsible and following through on intentional commitments.
Lastly, reduce as much as possible your distractions. -choose a quiet area to complete tasks -turn off notifications on your phone -let others know you do not want to be disturbed for x amount of time -create a working space free of clutter -set an alarm after 25 minutes for a 5 minute break throughout your day -make sure you are not hungry, lonely, or tired -each morning set intentions and create a way to show yourself evidence of your success in achieving them -create a mindfulness practice of paying attention to what you are doing, where your feet are in the present moment
When we decide to claim the superpower of feeding our intentional focus we will probably be a better listener , a calmer person, and increase our self esteem. Inner work is a choice ..to stop doing things not working in exchange for doing things that do work. It is all about Practice, not Perfection. I personally have discovered being more focused has enabled me to be more observant of others, clarity in what is really important in my life, and noticing aspects of the natural world that I used to let just pass me by. Breathe in Focus as you exhale distraction, and you might experience an amazing life you never knew was possible!
“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.” – Greg Anderson
“Say no to distraction so you can say yes to your destiny.” -Thelma Davis
I find it fascinating that so many think the shift of consciousness we are each experiencing now just started within the past five or so years. When people take the time to reflect on the past historical periods of planetary changes, the evidence would be compelling that global consciousness has forever been changing, shifting, and expanding! I read with internal nodding those who have the driven need to keep posting on social media how leaders are creating corruptive destruction and how angry or fearful many posters are. I observe those who choose to end relationships with acquaintances /friendships who they heard voice new truths about what is really occurring and how we can more freely ease through the changes. I do realize not everyone is willing or ready to do life differently, to relinquish their false sense they have control over what is happening , to accept old paradigms are crumbling, and to see that this rebirth and shift does not look pretty. Living in these times while humanity and Earth are actually shifting is a shock to many. With the crumbling does come chaos and with chaos comes resistance to change especially for the ones carrying old patterns sandwiched in guilt, shame, and remorse . Without participating in powerful transformations and surrendering old patterns those who continue to embrace anger from past experiences will only be triggered even more and demonstrate more anger of what is seen on the surface as political leaders all over the globe who are only the carriers of the Patriarchal Ways..try to force their ways upon society in every part of the world. Visionaries and those who embrace ancient practices and rituals , even in the midst of total chaos are holding their heads above the fears in radiating light reminding themselves that it is all necessary as they answered the calling to be Sacred Witnesses living out their predestined mission to be walking examples as all experience the greatest Rebirth Humanity has ever seen!
There is a silver lining in this rebirth..a golden opportunity to view it all with a new set of glasses! If willing we each have the choice and option to see clearly the true and real nature of things without muddying the truth with old perceptions! This is an exciting time to be alive for we each can choose to see who we really are as a species, as human beings . I applaud those who are daily doing their Practices and Offering Sacred Ceremony during this amazing time! Furthermore, as those who walk their talk these can be leaders who can take a deeper dive into understanding respective responses (or reactions) and even carry the heart wisdom that experiences in life are created and perceived by subconscious beliefs and ideas. As I see it, it is a time to allow our awarenesses to expand our authentic natures to flow into our passions, into our heart felt desires, and into how we interact and understand all our relationships. We each have a choice to embrace the amazing shifts we are all experiencing leaving courageous footsteps for our brothers and sisters to follow!
Still I know there will be separation of many from the decision to be unified. It is time to decide…will you accept the journey of rebirth on the path not yet taken or will you continue doing the same things with the same patterns of living expecting different results?
“I give you this to take with you: Nothing remains as it was. If you know this, you can begin again, with pure joy in the uprooting.” -Judith Minty
“Rebirth always follows death” -Neil Gaiman
“A rebirth out of spiritual adversity causes us to become new creatures” -James E. Faust
I believe I knew in the year 2012 the world as I knew it was going to significantly change. Most of my life I did not feel I fit into the world as it was. Due to this internal conflict I searched to find something: anything… a person, alcohol, a religion, a mind altering substance, a career, anything…to fill this hole I felt in my soul. Being strongly intuitive since birth I had this vision that would not go away even though society, science, people, church, school, family disagreed with what I knew was coming.I did know being outside in nature connecting to trees, to the stars, to the moon, to the sun, and being around animals and non-human beings created a level of safety and comfortability being a human being in this world.
Even as a kid I was disturbed by how people carried their opinion and beliefs that anyone different from them needed to somehow become like them….whether it was the color of the skin, the religion or dogmas they held to be true, their gender and how gender decided how a person was supposed to act in life. I did not yet know the term “patriarchy” until I was a young adult for if I had maybe I would have understood why males seemed to have certain privileges females did not. I did know about the magic and Goddesses in mythology. It made sense to me! For quite a long time I read and studied the practices and rituals of Indigenous People. That, too, made sense to me! When I was in Girl Scouts once we had the opportunity to visit a local woman who showed us flowers, plants, and herbs I did not know about. She talked of the “old ways” of using things that grew from soil that were cures for different medical conditions. That seemed somehow familiar to me although I did not remember hearing this information before.
Slowly as I went through life still trying to fill that hole in my soul, still making choices that did not really work , but trying different avenues that I believed society knew the answer more than I did, finally I made a decision…to honor my vision and to become a proverbial cliff jumper. Once I did this wild way to think and believe I started rebelling against the way the majority of the world was directly and indirectly telling me how I was supposed to present myself in a world I was not sure was where I really came from! I read the prophecies of the Hopi Indians and of other Indigenous Tribal People who carried visions of what one day was coming with fascination, and a bit of fear. I knew those prophecies were going to come true. However, I did not think it would be in my lifetime even though deeply within I was hoping it would be !
I cannot tell you exactly when I first heard the term “Shift of Global Consciousness” but the more I heard it, the greater I knew I was born to be here in the midst of it! Even before I heard that phrase I had been radiating light, love, and positivity for quite a while. It took me much inner work to let go of the addiction to worrying, being paralyzed by real and imagined fears, and other negative aspects created from various experiences I had walked through. I learned along the way that everything is energy and I learned how to connect to it. For many years I would say aloud “I want to see the unseen” and it is my theory through my strong intuition and my belief this really could happen I was shown a pathway that is magical. My open mindedness and a desire to help the world I had long struggled to be a part of showed me a portal I could enter. I assure you I entered with apprehension but I did take the plunge and am still there today, jumping frequently from one proverbial cliff to another!
Global Consciousness and the Shift really is happening all over the world. Many are resisting it, believing we can return to the past before this shift emerged and evolved. I know we cannot. The integration and evolution of global consciousness is based , I believe, on practices that we are not separate beings, but we are all connected. Not only connected with each other, but with the planet, with Nature , with animals and all living things. Of course the problem of division, of being separate from each other once again..those different from us is growing daily. In spite of this continuing disunity the shift is ever present. Our choice is either to resist or to find a way to embrace the shift of global consciousness. Those who want to resist are trying as hard as each can to control others, to persuade others their way is the only way to live and believe, and to hang on to the systems and ideas that have been in place for eons.
Quantum Wisdom Keepers such as Albert Einstein, Nikola Tesla, and more recently Bruce Lipton, Sandra Ingerman, David Hawkins, Joe Dispenza , Carolyn Myss, Tara Branch, and Jose Silva have offered new perspectives of how to live intentionally as we attempt to live in a fast changing world. Of course we are being challenged as we attempt to fine tune new waves of thinking , feeling, living, and acting. If you do not see that something profound and transformational is happening economically, politically, and in our climate I suspect you are asleep or perhaps in denial. Many feel humanity will not survive . I am not one of them. I believe with my heart and soul it is through the depth of our challenges we have the opportunity to come into the evolution of our capacity for greatness. Patterns we wish would go away are in our faces: fear of abandonment, insecurity, feeling rejected, anxiety, not feeling worthy or loved, genocide, poverty , feelings of inadequacy, and more! The darkness is present to be transmuted into Light, to shake and awaken each of us, and to show us we have much work to do on our planetand within ourselves.
To live intentionally during this massive shift of consciousness we are being called to shift within, going deeper than we have ever been willing to go. In my mind it requires several actions such as:
-Change the arrogance to humility. Stop saying you already do this 100%. Check in and be gut level honest of what you are thinking , doing, and being. If you mess up, admit it and strive to be a better version of yourself tomorrow.
-Inventory those relationships that bring you down, and remove the toxic drama queens and kings from your life. Toxic energy is a low vibration and in order to progress and move smoothly through the Shift , get rid of the Dis-ease in your life. Do you have a relationship with people, with alcohol or mind altering substances, with a job, with a place that is actually a dis-ease?
-Come to a place of peace with decisions you have made . Guilt and Regrets carry toxicity . Be willing to learn from your past experiences that have brought you to the present place of your life. Allow them to come up, claim them, and surrender them with love and compassion.
-Surrender the old parts of you that drag you down. Begin manifesting the things that you really want and risk achieving them. Set an intention when you begin your day and focus upon that simple intention throughout the next 12 or so hours.
-Listen to the messages of your heart. Stop rationalizing and follow through. Listen to the guidance of your body. It will never lie to you. Get out of your head and practice stillness for clarity . Your purpose on the Earth will get stronger and you will feel joyful by listening and trusting .
-Use integrity and honesty with yourself and with others. Show compassion to all who cross your path and for yourself. Beating yourself up is not self love. When you choose to treat yourself with respect and dignity, it is easier to treat others equally with similar qualities.
–Accept the changes in the food and beverages you consume during this shift. Food allergies may appear in foods you have eaten forever. Trust your body is being recalibrated to new vibrations . Anger, rage, fear gather like magnets in our body during changes. Don’t freak out because you are holding onto these strong emotions. Just be aware and thank the emotions for reminding you it is time to let go of trying to be in control. As you practice this with the choice of self care and self compassion, any weight you have gained as you hold onto your emotions will at some point be transformed and released.
-Schedule time to hang out in nature. Nature teaches us when we choose to listen. Breathe deeply the air and observe plants, trees, the weather, animals, and express your gratitude. Nature is within us as human beings. We are connected to nature and She with us.
-Help someone else by practicing random acts of kindness in which you tell no one the act you did. Kindness matters. We do not need to brag about what we do for another. If you feel a need to do that, ask yourself what was your motive for offering to help another.
–Give yourself quality time alone without noise of cell phone, tv, computer. Connect with like hearted friends . Breathe freely and journal your gratitude of what you currently have.
Living with intention especially in this global shift of consciousness is based on your core values and beliefs. By making a Sacred Contract with yourself to live intentionally you just may discover a hidden key to your personal power, to feel fulfilled because you are being true to the One you spend the most time with…YOU, and to live with Purpose. When you initially begin intentional living it may feel selfish and uncomfortable, but as you keep practicing a sense of calm will gift you in the global shift we each are living through.
” But there’s a shift happening in humanity, a shift in consciousness, happening now because it has to happen now” – Eckhart Tolle
The world globally is a challenging place right now. Uncertainty is the new color of existence. The collective of most countries, including my own, seem to be in a state of consistent anxiety, fear, and stress. From government leaders to regular Jills and Joes pointing the finger of blame seems to be the status quo for many.When we feel we are powerless and have no control often we focus upon and vocalize anger and confusion. Underneath that anger, fear, and confusion lies a layer of stress. The fear of the unknown is rampant. We might reflect back to our ancestors’ patterns of fight or flight when Mr. or Mrs. Tyrannosaurus Rex was in hot pursuit on their heels. Would they try to battle the monstrosity or would they run into their dark caves to escape? When the masses are not protesting in public, arguing with those who do not agree with their perceptions , many are flocking with high levels of anger and finger pointing on social media as they increasingly are reacting to their anxieties and fears. I will be the first to admit uncertain times certainly do present with uncertain outcomes, and anger can be the catalyst for solutions. However, staying in that swamp of anger, rage, and fear does not really seem to be accomplishing much change. It is reminiscent of being called to the Principle’s office when we were accused of some rule we broke..trying to look tough in front of our peers as the teacher led us down the hallway, not knowing the outcome that we were facing. I believe there is another choice.
In my life I have had many opportunities to either be the proverbial caged rat re-cycling the same perceptions with the same patterns as I run in circles on the wheel of making no decisions to do things differently or to be the visionary who had a lightbulb moment to do things differently…even if no one else was making a similar choice! My lightbulb moment came when I realized if I changed my reaction from anger and fear of what might happen in the field of the unknown to a place of taking responsibility for what I actually had control of instead of wearing a cloak of victimhood of having no control , I experienced a profound paradigm shift! Taking responsibility for my thoughts and actions gifted me personal power I could own instead of giving away my power . When I stopped pushing against the forces I was blaming for the reasons I was unhappy and began finding ways I could not only help myself, but also help others in my communitylife changed for the better.
When I decided to cultivate and take actions of courage and resilience especially faced with uncertainty of my future, I was taking responsibility for creating the destiny that I truly desired. I long ago had engaged in certain practices that empowered me. It was easy to keep up those practices when things were going well, and going my way. Maybe they still would work when I changed my thinking , my mindset from worrying to proactive steps . I decided to remember what had worked in my past when life through a monkey wrench into my plans of how life was supposed to look!
Chop wood, carry water! Being in the present without being the judge, jury, and executioner works! Using mindfulness in simple activities such as in washing the dishes, doing deep breathing exhales/inhales, and listening to my body brought up inner peace.
Talking back to my negative thoughts and stories my negative mindset came up with me helped! Letting go and surrendering the “what if syndrome” by telling it to go live in another house for the time being was a great tool. Asking who told me that, is that true, what evidence do I have to support that thought and story propelled me into a more positive state of being.
Creating certainty in uncertain times with simple activities was beneficial. I could write a gratitude list, go to the gym or walk, set aside time in the morning to journal and reflect on the positive things in my life.
Consciously listening to another got me out of “but it’s all about me, isn’t it?” Listening to another without inserting my opinion and reflecting back to them not only stopped my monkey-mind, but also helped the other person to feel heard.
Volunteering in my community where I can be of service took away my anger and fears of the unknown , and benefitted someone else.
Yes, the world is challenging right now. Change and uncertainty is in all our faces. However opportunities to empathically and compassionately treat myself and others, focusing on what I do have control over, maintaining emotional boundaries, offering support to my tribe of supporters as they do the same for me is significant , and being grateful for what I currently have all reinforce to my mind, body, spirit that I can walk through challenges with hope and determination.
When I choose taking responsibility to change my mindset , to respond instead of reacting, maybe the scary things going on outside of myself do not go away, but I sure do feel I have a purpose and can share my purpose with someone who has yet to know about the superpower of responsibility. We are in this thing called life together, and together we can do what we could never do alone.
As I look back on the history of humankind I am frequently fascinated to remember in each of us individually, in cultures, in world events, and even in Nature..there have always been cycles and with each cycle comes change.
Sir Isaac Newton once stated “To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction.” Albert Einstein furthered this truth by stating ” With every problem, there’s a solution: just a matter of taking action. Cyclical history is theorized by the suggestion that history repeats itself not in linear time, but in cycles. When we reflect on this idea we will see civilizations have in the past gone through stages of growth, decline, and renewal over a period of time. If this theory is valid we might agree civilizations have experienced the journey of prosperity, decline, and once again rising in a cycle. Because ancient civilizations knew that Nature and the Natural World teaches us how to apply the changes Nature herself demonstrates in the ongoing, repeating natural rhythms of the Universe, we can focus on the evidence that truly everything moves in cycles.
Should we choose to pay attention to cycles of change, we may make the choice to learn from the past in order to avoid repeating prior mistakes. We might , if consciously awake, choose to observe the crucial importance of viewing and recognizing patterns that have shown themselves in the past so we can actually learn from them . Why you may ask would we want to do that? I want to suggest by learning from past historical patterns we could have tools and information that would empower us to navigate those cycles of change coming in the future that are inevitable!
Yes we are in the midst of a cycle of change..one that feels out of control and overwhelming. The first step as I see it is awareness of the truth. The next step is acceptance of what is being repeated from a prior time in history. The third step is recognizing patterns within the cycle. Lastly, integrate the patterns by surrendering them as they are transformed into learning experiences. When we are willing to learn from past experiences we have greater opportunities not to repeat the same cyclic patterns in the same manner.
In the 1990’s two books were published by William Strauss and Neil Howe describing an intriguing theory that generations of history go through changes in cycles just like seasons of the year experience. This theory mirrors what the ancients knew in their wisdom that time is not so much linear as it is cyclical. The authors suggested just as a generation reaches a plateau when it moves through Childhood to Young Adulthood into Midlife those in this phase of life take on leadership roles of power in society and every 20 years as a new generation embraces the midlife stage of aging the generation that previously occupied that space moving into less influential stage of elders. Thus the” cycle of birth-growth-maturation-destruction” and chaos happens then regrowth occurs. The cycle of death and rebirth is necessary in the human experience.
As these generational years of development repeat in their respective cycles every 80-100 years four “turnings” also go through a cyclical pattern of High (First Turning), Awakening (Second Turning), Unraveling (Third Turning), and Crisis (Fourth Turning). When we view these turnings we can begin to see the cycles in history of every realm of civilization. It appears to me the Third Turning or unraveling globally showed up in the year 2020 when the entire world shut down due to a pandemic. If the theory of the four turnings is correct it is reasonable to accept not just the United States of America but the entire world once again is in the Fourth Turning or Crisis stage with many world leaders demonstrating characteristics of Patriarchal Government Leaders . Just as when the era of the Matrilineal/Goddess once revered by all genders was squashed when the Patriarch came into their Power , we are experiencing a similar global experience. For the humans who are paying attention the past history once again has cycled into a repeat performance.
Perhaps the question is not what have we learned in the repeating cycles but how can we survive in cycles of Crisis? I have come to believe over time of living through personal cycles of crisis as well as historical ones (I lived through the sixties!) it has helped me to integrate and put into action practices that bring calmness into my inner world such as meditation, yoga, qi gong, connecting and spending time in nature, breath work, and sharing with vulnerability and honesty with people I know have my back. On top of those important practices I also have discovered a few gems.
-Coming to the conclusion that my contentment and happiness always comes from within instead of the illusion my inner peace comes from things or achieving something outside of myself. What I have from childhood into adulthood needed the most was to reconnect and claim who I really am and setting intentions of how I truly want to live my life.
-Embracing my feelings and emotions as teachers has helped me to find my authenticity. No longer do I try to control or hide my emotions . I allow them now to be the catalyst , utilizing the energy of even the emotion of anger to create solutions to problems so I can make positive changes in various areas of my life.
-The creation of a Stillness Practice replaced my need to always be busy in order to look productive both to others and myself. When I learned just to be instead of always needing to be doing, it was an awakening! Being in the present now moment instead of dredging up past mistakes, pains, and memories is so freeing!
-Finally, shedding my old skin and letting go of things I cannot change, situations I have no control over, and pausing to see with gratitude the curious wonder of my world has been incredible!
If cycles are going to show up and history has presented the evidence they will keep evolving , it seems to me to be beneficial to find ways to cope, to be in the solution instead of being a scared rabbit running across my yard looking for a hole to jump into to hide from what is happening outside of myself. When I find what is working for me in times of chaos, in times of change and I share that with others , somehow knowing I and we are not alone gives me solace . What we can do together is far better than what we could not do alone!
“As is the generation of leaves, so to of men: At one time the wind shakes the leaves to the ground but then the flourishing woods gives birth, and the season of Spring comes into existence; So it is with the generations of men, which alternatively come forth and pass away.” -Homer, The Illiad, Book Six
I have been reflecting lately on the ideas being thrown at us from the IT and AI world of technology. AI is not new but is more present today than in past years. More and more there is talk and marketing regarding replacing our human body parts, organs, brains with biology in the form of technological advances. The marketing techniques would like us to believe the pretty picture it is attempting to create in our minds. Sure I know as I continue to live and age my body parts are going to wear out and not function as efficiently as they did when I was younger. I do know there is a shift in Consciousness happening globally over which I have no control..or do we? My thoughts have lately been asking myself would I be willing to sacrifice my Divinity and Humanity in exchange for biological replacement through technology? This is really not a far fetched idea, not a creative production of a Sci-Fi movie.
I have over the past few years done much internal work to discover a life of Spirituality, not a religious one . For many years I felt confused, lost in a world I felt I did not fit into. As I awakened not in a straight line but in a spiral continuum of discovering what was not working, what was blocking me from being the best version of myself as I became more willing to find my truth as opposed to the illusions I had bought into, I made choices. The illusions I began surrendering included fears of not feeling safe, of not being good enough, of trying to prove to myself and those outside of my existence that I was worthy! The spiral of embracing my own personal truth has seen the birthing of compassion, unconditional love, forgiveness, and empathy. I assure you this has not been an easy journey but it has opened portals of light over the darkness of my false pride, my thinking I had all the answers when I kept practicing actions based on old beliefs that simply did not work. I still find at times my insecurities will pop up necessitating more surrender to Source as I seek guidance out of a new abyss resonant of an old one.
I have come to believe the manifestation of Divine Source that has always been within me is my Divinity. As I reflect on this it reminds me of an old cartoon where an angel sat on one shoulder and a red devil sat on the opposite one. My humanness which is my Consciousness always has had a choice…do the next right thing with choices that do not harm myself or anyone else or jump back into selfish, arrogant, and egotistical actions sandwiched once again in that old layer of FEAR . Now I get to decide…am I willing to give up my Divinity, my Humanness in exchange for a future of brain and body chips, allowing the dark forces to tell me how to live my life? Do I really believe if I go with the technological chips placed inside my body that I will get to keep the Divinity part?Will I go along with AI and IT people convincing me nothing will change for me or for future humanity as a human or will I stay awake and choose not to allow social media and technology to affect my Divinity? I do hold the belief A1 in itself is not evil . It depends on how it is used. It comes down to the Collective Consciousness , I believe, and through the Collective how we of the Human Form choose to evolve based on our beliefs, our emotions, our thoughts.
As we each reflect upon our conscious and subconscious thoughts that we choose to act upon, will we choose love itself? Will we choose compassion for each other? Will we act on empathy and forgive both ourselves and others? Forgiveness is not condoning any acts done to us or others. It is about releasing the real and imagined scenarios we repeatedly play in our heads that have and continue to keep us in a self imposed prison that only adds to our internal darkness. When we make the choice to be love itself, we are not only healing and partnering with our own transformation , we also are partnering with all other humans and Earth herself!
These reflections of what could be the future of transhumans have led me down a Spiritual Rabbit Hole to embrace the fact I have internal technology within my mind-body-spirit! I was born with inner heart knowledge called intuition. Utilizing my heart knowledge of intuitive truths, I can continue to daily choose and do Spiritual Practices that work for me such as connecting and walking with Nature as a great teacher, of meditating, of Stillness and Surrender periods daily, of aligning with the Creator, of journaling mindfully, of martial arts movements such as Qi Gong , Energy Healing, Chanting mantras, Writing a Gratitude List, Sacred Breath work, Prayer, Working out at gym. I can continue to check in with myself and other Like-Hearted friends and Professionals to receive validation and suggestions of how I am being or not being the best version of myself!
I do love technology. I have experienced advances that really have created sustainability in many areas by improvements in healthcare, education, and have reshaped our world for the better. Reflecting on the downside of current and future technology such as social disconnections from in person relationships; manipulation of truth in videos, websites, photos; behaviors such as bullying, threatening behaviors that can be used anonymously; I am willing to listen to my humanness and trust my inner knowing more than ever.
We each have choices today that will affect our present and the future . Do we want to be the best version of ourselves as we embrace our Divinity to insure a benevolent and loving Humanity for future generations or do we choose to allow AI and those who want to use it for negative and controlling methods to instill false beliefs into our minds to manipulate our thinking and choices? It is not too late to decide but we truly may be on a growing timeline to make our choice. Together we can do what we could never do alone. When unsure how to move forward, we can call upon our loved ones, our friends, a Professional Coach or other Practitioner to serve as a sounding board and guide. I believe in Humanity and will never stop shouting from the rooftops the hope that is possible but it is up to each of us to decide, to choose actions of inner work, or to allow the crumbling of it all to occur. What is your intention?
“You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.” -Ram Dass
“The development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of the human race.” – Stephen Hawking
My oldest memory was growing up in an old farmhouse with hardwood floors. During daylight hours I loved playing among Mimosa and Pine Trees, finding treasures in the creek of shiny pieces of mica and periwinkles. However, nighttime seemed to create an atmosphere of scary thoughts as I lay in my bed in the dark listening to the invisible steps on hardwood floors of creaking sounds, and my big eyes watching and listening to the closed closet door in case something jumped out to get me! My solution was to cover my head and pull the menagerie of stuffed animals closer to me for protection. I imagine I was making up my fear experience moving from the safe feeling of my parents saying good night to me, turning out the lights, and my inexperience of dealing with the uncertainty of the dark. Then on the other hand I have memories of Christmas mornings and the excitement that proceeded running downstairs to discover the unknown presents and my filled stocking left for me!Uncertainty varied from fear to excitement even in my early childhood!
It is presently being revealed to me an awareness that in the Human Experience we each have situations of uncertainty that can produce either fear and anxiety or excitement and pleasant surprise depending on how we respond to each situation. Both come down to having a lack of control. Studies have shown that not everyone reacts and responds to the uncertainty of the unknown in the same way or even on the same level. For some uncertainty creates great anxiety, and even can manifest in believing danger is inevitable . The questions start slowly, then escalate: Will my routine medical test show I have a fatal disease? Will the person I love be there for me under all conditions ? Is my friend mad at me and that is why they did not immediately answer my text? Will we enter another war because of the changes in the leaders of our government? Will I lose all my savings? Am I safe with the world like it is? It goes on and on! For many the the anxious mentality demands to know what is coming with details of when, how, what, and will we even survive through what is coming!!
Then there are others who seem to go with the flow, being comfortable in their skin, even when uncertainty is rampant, even when their little Fear Boy or Girl shows up internally. Is it possible we could each live our lives a different way and find new patterns of coping with not knowing how situations of uncertainty will play out? Pretending uncertainty does not exist , I believe, is not the answer. I will tell you lately I have been mostly calm even though the whole world seems off balance. As I reflect back to that little girl I was in my dark bedroom hoping my stuffed animals would protect me and not sure at all that they even could, I am assessing how is it that I am feeling comfort with the unknown? Here are some things I have embraced that seem to be working most of the time.
Every morning I start by doing a meditation after I get grounded with my feet connecting with the Earth. Sometimes the meditation is a grounding meditation. When in the past I started my day ungrounded I become scattered, not able to focus, feeling overwhelmed.
I set the intention to surrender to the unknown and uncertainty. I ask myself am I now willing to embrace and accept the unknown. The answer has always become YES. I then decide and make a choice by tapping into the wise person who lives inside of me, and own/claim my internal Power to remember who I really am. I light morning candles every morning along with my surrender intention and connect with the Light.
No matter what monkey wrench the Universe throws at me, I make it a priority to look for the silver lining and the opportunity. If that old fear starts creating a shadow of doubt, I pause and start my day over. I don’t have to be perfect. I remind myself I have a different choice . This is a change in perception I can always use.
When faced with not knowing what the next right to do is because of uncertainty, I take three deep breaths and ask myself what do I have control of right now. It might be I can go for a walk. I can go to the gym. I can make a healthy snack or meal. I can wear my favorite shirt. I can call a friend.
I see the magic in every situation. My old way was to automatically jump into seeing the awfulness of every situation and create stories to scare myself even more. When I look for the magic , magical things happen. I have come to believe I can rise above any fear my Lizard Brain conjures up and I ask always: Is that really true? Is that really how this story is going to play out? Who told me that?
Finding comfort with the unknown has the possibility to allow us each to continue to pursue our dreams, to share our insights and offer help to another , and to live with a purpose. We are in this thing called life together ,and together we can rise above our fears. Share what you find that works in your world, and it just might inspire someone else to pay it forward too!
“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.” – John Allen Paulos
I am sure I was a born curious seeker. Maybe you, too , as a child were curious about the world around you. I always wanted the answer to “Why?” . It may have begun when my Mom would tell me to do or usually not to do something. I am sure my repeated and constant “Why” was not in her mind an aspect of my thirst for living a creative life. Her answer which never satisfied me and to this day never satisfies me about anyone or any situation was “Because I said so.”
I observe many people who have lost their sense of curiosity. Of course I am curious about even that! In my observations those who stopped being curious have settled to live their lives with assumptions about each other, even themselves, and the world about them. Not only do many choose to make assumptions, but they view the world as either “ black or white”. I don’t know about you, but that sort of thinking seems quite boring. I even view it as people who are sleep-walking through life, oblivious to a colorful inquisitive wonder that I have not stopped nurturing since childhood! You may wonder why being curious is crucial. Studies have shown evidence being curious opens one’s mind to new possibilities and new ways of looking at old perceptions of all kinds of things. Looking underneath the surface of face value aspects allows and inspires one to think outside of the box! Being curious opens doors of the discovery of innovative ideas that being stuck in the old familiar routines just does not occur even to very intelligent people! People who have put curiosity on hold, in my opinion, think they know everything and their ego proves it ( especially to themselves!). They need to feel right and feel uncomfortable when shown their way and beliefs are incorrect and challenged. Knowing one does not understand or know can bring up feelings of insecurity and vulnerability within.
Cultivating and embracing curiosity that has been put on hold has the potential to open our eyes to new freedom, joyful giddiness, and allows us to try new things even if we are not successful that we would not have tried previously. Once we start being curious our brain wants to do it more in all types of settings ;and , new neural pathways are created within each hemisphere of our brain!
Some ideas for you to jumpstart cultivating curiosity
Ask why, how, what,when questions of yourself, of the world, of your friends, of your partner. Asking questions breaks down the need to assume anything.
Become a conscious listener without one thought of how you will respond. Remember maintaining the curious mode is not about what you know and want to show to another. It is about learning new ideas, new opinions, new perspectives. Train yourself to listen longer.
Unplug from your phone. Look at nature. Walk through your local community or when traveling observe what you see. Observing opens a channel of being curious and awakens thoughts to expand upon.
Surrender the need to be right and the need to show off to others what you think you know. By being curious you just might be surprised at new things you might learn and consider.
In conversations act like a journalist. Go past the answer and choose understanding over knowing. Ask who did that, what does it mean to your communicative partner, when did it occur, why did it take place, etc.
Go on adventures and do things and go places you have never done or been. Step out of your comfort zone.
Cultivating Curiosity can offer an enriching, happier life which will foster creativity, increase problem solving in all areas of our lives, and create more meaningful relationships with others. Amazing possibilities await as Curiosity becomes our SuperPower!
“I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” -Albert Einstein
It took me a long time to become free. I was not physically locked in a cell ; however, I had the expectations of others thrust on me. I do not remember asking my parents, my teachers or society who I was supposed to be or what role as a female I was supposed to be living. I believe the indirect messages I received early in life entered my mind and slithered into my subconscious reptilian brain. I am the middle sibling in my family of origin and the only female. There were unspoken rules for males and for females; such as the guys could go places by themselves but chicks were supposed to be safe/protected and not do that. The guys did not have to pick up after themselves but females not only were supposed to be tidy but also pick up the dropped clothing and dirty dishes off the table for the guys. I was never a people pleaser but I learned early in my life part of taking care of others included telling others what to do so they would be happy (based on my ideas, not theirs). I let boys cheat off my work even in elementary school because I was intelligent and I did not want them not to get an equal grade as I would receive. I have been highly intuitive and a visionary since birth, but no one that I remember in my developmental years, honored that I knew things others did not perceive and I always had special gifts of a sixth sense . I am not sure if people told me I was weird and strange but I surely felt I was ,so I learned early to hide my talents that were different from the inborn abilities my peers and even older kids had. The story of who I was supposed to be that lived in my subconscious mind played this scene repeatedly:
* I had to be super responsible and do things for others..not so they would like me but because I was supposed to be the one who performed the actions for them . * When I was on a job I would help everyone do their job in addition to my responsibilities because I was supposed to be helpful. * I had to be serious because serious people got things done. * I had to be a hard worker because hard workers get ahead and being productive wins the prize of life *I was always trying to help the underdog because I thought they were given an unfair lot in life and it was my job to show them how to crawl out of the holes society had put them in.
Even though I heard these ideas and even bought them hook, line, and sinker..deep within where I believe the Divinity and the “Wise Person Within” lived , I knew something did not make sense. I walked through life with this conflict..Being who I thought society and those I put in Authority roles over my own Sacred Authority gave me indirect and direct messages and the internal wisdom of truth that I repeatedly stuffed inside of myself . I stuffed the truth through distractions, workaholism, addictions of many types, and looking for “stray dogs in the form of human beings who I was sure needed my guidance and control”.
I cannot tell you the age I was when I began crawling out of my internal conflict living inside of myself, when I began owning my OWN authority, when I began to believe that being who I thought I was supposed to be made absolutely no sense. I can tell you I was an adult when I literally emerged from a cocoon of illusion and discovered a set of beautiful wings that had laid flat on my shoulders all my life ..wings that were made of light and freedom that unfolded before my curious and amazed eyes!
In order for any of us , male or female, to come bursting out of our self imposed cell of illusion I believe it is necessary to look the fear squarely in the eye. What fear you may ask? The deep rooted fear that holds us hostage from expressing our true selves is our problem! The bond we may still be attached to with our original caregivers, with what we think society demands and expects of us, and with our current or past partners is a direct belief of our survival as a person. We believe to break out of that closed, shadowy box we are lying in along with expectations (real or perceived) that others thrust upon us will result in all and everyone rejecting us and throwing us away. How do we break out from who we think we are supposed to be?
It will and does start with mustering courage. Trust me, I know this is scary! However, when we each become willing to see our truths that have been hidden from ourselves, when we finally find our inner voice that speaks to our shadow lying in that locked box of mistruths , the more we put on the shining suit of courage and uncover the golden treasure of allowing not only ourselves but everyone to see who we really are, our wings will begin unfolding. Codes will show up in capital letters on those wings with the messages of vulnerability, happiness, and joy as we express both internally and externally the person we were meant to be all along! Those fears of rejection, shame, denial, and criticism in the form of daggers thrown by others will gradually and completely disappear. They will disappear because we will no longer have space to listen or believe anyone who does not accept the WE who we really are. The best evidence is we will not have space to dis -believe it ourselves because we finally know in our heart of hearts this is who we deserve to be and honor our own core values. As we spread those wings of authenticity we will smile inwardly and outwardly because we will know who we really are, be who we really are, and share our real self with others.
“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken”- Oscar Wilde
“Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen” – Brene Brown
When I reflect throughout various times in my life I can pinpoint a consistent desire to escape routine ways of doing anything. I don’t know if all creative people need to foster change or if because I was born a visionary Aquarian that routine and the same old way of doing anything drives me into boredom, but I really do relish change. I have heard for years that change is a constant and I do know many people who freak when change happens. Looking at aspects of my personality, and I do know myself well, it does seem surprising that I adore change because I have this thread of wanting control that runs through my core in certain areas of my human experience. Change almost always shows up at the most unexpected and inopportune times, and most people resist it due to wanting to exert control over what or who change is affecting in our lives. I will share with you part of myself does go with the flow, dancing through changes giggling all the way. Then there is that desire to know what is going to happen, how the players involved will play out their parts, and when the re-set of balance will come after a change has thrown me into a topsy-turvy situation. The flowing dancer part of me can walk away from most situations and people in a heartbeat. This is because when I intuitively know the lesson it or they came to show me is complete I just walk away..with no emotion or regret attached to it.
However change and transition are not exactly the same. Change is the particular event that occurs such as losing a job, death, birth, break-up of a relationship, retirement, medical challenges in our body or mind, or a geographic move. Change can be forced upon us by circumstances beyond our control or it can be our choice.
Transition is a process, a journey we walk through to adapt to a change . Transition happens internallyas we process changes that have occurred and start considering what we really desire out of life; and , externally as we choose different people, different ways we live our lives, and even different activities that may fit us better and more efficiently.
Perhaps once we get over the shock of a change that has been thrust upon us and are reflecting upon how to process the adaptations needed in the transition we might decide to partner with both the change(s) and how to adapt to a different way to live our lives. This is not always easy! However I have found in my own life through many changes I have walked through that instead of staying in the same familiar routines with the same people and situation the Universe has offered me a window of opportunity that Inever even considered!
Gathering around us a tribe of support who will help us is crucial. There may be those who do not support us, and we can choose to not listen to their negative comments about what we need to do. The truth is since birth we have craved connections of those who nurture and lift us to higher levels of confidence as we face the monkey wrenches of change. We do not have to face these difficult times alone! You may be surprised who your tribe consists of, and who has always been therefor you!
Focus on aspects of the transition you can control. It is part of the human experience to feel powerless when major transitions are happening. When we focus on those parts we can successfully act upon and change our thinking of the situation we find ourselves in, we will discover we really do have skills and abilities within to be able to deal with change.
Through this time of transition when we add an element of gratitude we might see though at times we feel overwhelmed and afraid, gratitude can be a keystone of an arch and portal we can advance through. Gratitude when practiced on a daily basis has many gifts and one big one is by writing a gratitude list on paper our brains get rewired! As we partner with changes and transitions that we never saw coming and see the Warrior within emerging by facing our fears, using our tribe to help support us, and practicing an attitude of gratitude , we just may view the changes and transitions which looked like a crisis now presenting to us an incredible opportunity of growth and resilience.
One last note is that you may choose to seek professional support from a life coach or other person to assist you in creating your best outlined plan of action. It is not a weakness to ask for outside help, and you may see through the eyes of another person who offers ideas, who celebrates your growth with you, and who really sees you that you are given the treasure chest of seeing yourself as a person with a vision and purpose instead of one who is stuck in quicksand of a crisis with no way out.
”Your life does not get better by chance. It gets better by change. “ – Jim Rohn
”We all get scared and want to run away, but it isn’t always strength that makes you stay. Strength is also making the decision to change your destiny” – Zoraida Cordova
I have studied and embraced the Ancient Ways of Indigenous Ancestors for much of my life. Some of my earliest childhood memories are wrapped around knowing Nature and Earth always were present with me , providing a safe haven of protection and love over the dysfunctional, confusing actions of adults in many areas of life I observed in the world. On the land where I grew up tall pines decorated with resin coated pine cones, fragrant mimosas adorned with fluffy pink flowers and orchards of apple trees were my abundant protectors. Today as an elder in an even more confusing world comprised of prevalent separatism I am more dedicated than ever to honoring the wisdom of Earth and Nature. I am very sure my intention and desire to cultivate personal relationships of equality stems from the teachings of Nature. Long before I was introduced to Shamanic practices, I considered fields of clover, stones and rocks, crystals, creeks and rivers as living friends. I often gifted these friends with flower petals, shiny pieces of mica, and wild honeysuckle orange blossoms after exploring solo for an afternoon. Back then I had no idea I was returning gratitude to the Earth in sacred reciprocity.I only knew I was grateful for Nature’s amazing gifts freely shared with me.
Sacred reciprocity is an Indigenous Spiritual principle of giving and receiving. The Q’eros Shamans of the Andes use the term “ayni” for sacred reciprocity. We must give and receive equally and in Nature it is an imbalance to take more than we give back. When we are practicing being greedy taking more than we give back, the Q’eros believe suffering and illness will manifest as consequence as a result of disharmony with nature. Thus, the principle is that giving and receiving is similar to the flow of inhaling-exhaling. It is never about I give to you then you give to me. It is about living by the code of being loving, compassionate, giving with nature AND with each other. When this is our ongoing practice Nature and each of us living beings will be filled with harmonious, balanced abundance void of a sense of lack! Instead of living out of a sense of personal entitlement of always taking more or all of the pie, we can learn to flow in giving-receiving both to the Earth and to each other. Instead of thinking because we offered kindness, love, and generosity we are entitled to be praised and glorified, we can practice flowing back and forth in an equal state of healing fueled by love itself without expectations.
By shifting our thinking from self centered and selfish motives we are more able in our constantly changing world to stop demanding to get what we want when we demand it. This principle and practice is not only demonstrated in the Amazon Jungle but is present in many global cultural traditions. As we continue awakening also to the need not just to give until we are depleted, resentful but also being the giver as we can be filled with gratitude for receiving too with a wide, open heart; we will be co-creating a species of honoring, bonding, and mutual respect for the Earth and for each other. We are each an integral , connected part of the Web of Life, and our thoughts resulting in our actions will continue to have either positive or detrimental results.
I invite you to join me in claiming and acting out of this : when the wisdom and teachings of Ancient Ways is activated and remembered the empowered authenticity of Sacred Reciprocity will be a Divine link for creating harmonious balance with humility and a shared thriving of equal abundance for every single being on our planet.
“When you take and take without giving back soon there will be nothing left . This is as true for the garden as for people.” – Francisco E. Alvarez
Many years ago as a young teen I craved and wanted a world consisting of relationships of equality…one where there was no need to be above or below another, one in which chosen romantic, business, friendship, blood relations really saw each other and could see the mirror of goodness and equanimity. I wanted a world in which we accepted each other without trying to make another wrong so I could be right.
As time has gone on , and especially lately, I have observed people at each other’s throats in rage, fear, and disgust. People pitting against people, claiming their truth is THE truth, that their opinion is right and anyone opposing it is wrong. Watching and even at times finding myself sinking away from my own core values, buying into the dualistic world of light vs dark, good vs evil, right vs wrong, us vs them… I cringe often in sadness to see the world and the human beings dwelling here becoming more and more separate from each other. I have watched many claiming to be on a Spiritual Path shout and scream words of hate, pointing fingers of blame, acts of discrimination, and vows of revenge fueled underneath with internal disempowerment and hopelessness.
What if this world actually is not about which leader is elected or taking over a country but instead is the greatest test Humanity has ever seen? What if we only embrace our rigid opinions because they give us a sense of control over our situations and environment ?
What if we as a collective Humanity stopped judging the opinions of another and just walked our talk (instead of talking our talk with verbal diarrhea ) and chose to see each other as an expression of only love!I do not believe anyone has the core value of wanting to control, hate, or intimidate another. I do believe we each want to live by core values of acceptance, understanding, compassion, love, and service with integrity. Perhaps we forgot who and what we really are and desire to be with our fellow brothers and sisters. Perhaps we have allowed our insecurities, fears, and lack of care for humanity to take over. Perhaps we bought into the idea we had to stuff our opinions down the throats of anyone we felt stood in our egoic way of proving to ourselves we matter.
As we move into the Age of Aquarius perhaps we each could stop and chill for a bit and remember we are each Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience, and each of our experiences is but temporary. When we make a choice to treat every other Spiritual Being as an expression of love itself, we are offering Humanity a new perspective . In the end we each are walking each other Home and as we walk the journey in our Human experience I believe in my heart and soul we each hold a desire to be happy and free from suffering.
When we walk our talk we say what we actually mean, we do what we say we will do instead of forgoing promised commitments and treatments of others, and we choose integrity not only as an option , but as a way of life. Aligning our walk with our talk will empower each of us to connect with ourselves and with each other, creating the version of Humanity we absolutely yearn to save for generations to come after us.
”If humanity does not opt for integrity we are through completely. It is absolutely touch and go. Each one of us could make the difference.”
The other day during my yoga practice it occurred to me when I am present with myself fully, it is only then I can be completely present with another. I used to believe I was capable of multitasking . When I became more aware of this illusion wrapped in my arrogant and egotistical denial I embraced the fact I and you cannot effectively do two or more things at once..even the automatic tasks such as brushing my teeth, riding my bike, driving the route I drive daily, or walking. For you who want to challenge this statement, research has proven our great brain can really only handle one thing at a time. Therefore for example, when I am participating in a zoom meeting and my attention drifts to reading an email, I am not paying attention to the zoom meeting. This reminds me of a friend who calls me and he is trying to focus on a presentation he is also watching. My evidence is when I ask him what he thought of the idea I just said, he cannot answer but tries to pretend he was listening to me. I have told him more than once he does not listen well and of course, he denies that fact. Even more interesting, this person claims he is taking time to process what I had said to him: when in fact when the task of listening to me and thinking about what I said while he is focusing on something else ,his brain can only actually focus on one of those tasks. He might hear a word here or there but will not be able to digest what I actually said. There have been decades of studies that show proof when someone is multitasking what they are really doing is switching their attention between two or more tasks and more errors , less focus, and poor listening skills result. By the way I plead guilty as I used to claim I could multitask efficiently with all communicative partners!
Not only is the multitasker a poor listener , but their stress level actually increases by raised blood pressure and heart rates because their attention is jumping around like a ricocheting set of pings. You may wonder since our brains are not wired to multitask why do people continue doing it? It probably is the false belief we humans can get more done and reward ourselves with a great sense of accomplishing many things in a short period of time by multitasking . The truth is you would most likely be more efficient by doing one thing at a time, even taking a break with that one thing, allowing our mind to rest and then returning to a refreshed focus!
Now what does this have to do with staying present with ourselves? When we are present , really present with ourselves we are totally aware of what is happening in the moment…not jumping into the past that no longer exists or the future which has not gotten here (if it really ever arrives anyway!). Being present with ourselves utilizes all our senses (at least seven of them), keeps us allowing each precious moment to unfold gradually instead of us being wrapped up in what we think is going to happen, and choosing to exist only in the present we are able to fully breathe each breath. We focus on one thing at a time without being distracted when present with ourselves. I think we want to jump to the next thing instead of enjoying the experience of being with the present task because often our emotions and feelings in the present feel uncomfortable and like a gerbil chasing its tail as it runs around in a circle on a wheel, we convince ourselves we must hurry to the next place, the next task, the next experience, and the next performance.
Once we become willing to learn how to be present with ourselves we are then able to be present with another. Our relationships improve because we are more able to consciously listen to another which is showing respectful interest . We become more alive, awake, and content; thus increasing the very thing we as humans crave: quality connections! Being present empowers us to slow down, not be in rush to do the next thing, and when we slow down we are more apt to be engaged and appreciative of those aspects that really matter such as listening to the language of trees swaying in the woods as we walk in nature! Life without presence zooms by so fast that days, weeks, months, even years fly by quickly. When we do not stop and really look around and observe what is happening within us and with another person, we are likely to miss a light bulb “aha” moment, the smile on our partner or friend’s face , and the creative flow of how precious life really is!
Some ways to channel and shift your attention into the present moment with yourself or any other living thing can be learned from the natural world by grounding into the place your feet are contacting to the floor or earth and paying attention to your breath; being aware of the sensations, textures, sounds, and proprioception as you step into your shower and turn on the water; and, when out walking listen to the sound your shoes are making and every object you see.
The evidence you will receive to demonstrate you are present is noticing you no longer have to concentrate and try so hard to experience the joy of presence. Your brain will have re-wired new neural pathways and connections! As you dive deeper into being holistically whole with your own body, mind, and spirit your self acceptance, self-alignment, and self-connection through your practice of presence will expand to the same awareness with others! It just might open your eyes to a world you never really thought about before!
“If you miss the present moment, you miss your appointment with life.”-Thich Nhat Hanh
Throughout my entire life the arrival of Autumn Equinox has ushered in a path in which I activate a sacred timeline of creating an internal honoring of harvesting my growth and the radiance of the Light within. As the precious living leaves begin to transform into golden colors and surrender to Mother Earth, I also surrender the prior ways of the Summer of my thinking, reflecting upon my intentions to go within in rest and silence welcoming space for the Co-Creation of the The Highest and Greatest Good Visions to emergecollectively.
The thoughts came to me right before the Equinox of the present time concerning the evolution of awareness that always is the greatest as Summer fades into Autumn. As a deep diving student of inner work that occurs each time the winds of change push me off yet another proverbial cliff I am presented with waves of visionary insights that often others do not understand when I voice them. I honestly do not remember asking the Universe to keep knocking me out of my Comfort Zone in order to come face to face with a new Truth, but repeatedly this is where my experience takes me.
Instead of focusing on the chaos of wars and upcoming political agendas, I choose to focus on Nature herself as my teacher. I carry a belief that Nature knows what is needed not only to co-heal the Earth but also to walk in alignment with the needed transition for Humanity! We humans are here to receive instructions from our planet not to come up with concepts of technology to save ourselves. When the Ancient Spirit Wisdom and Memories of the Ancestors which lives in all our bones and DNA was able to penetrate my Reptilian Brain once I was willing to open my Spiritual Mind to remember an amazing thought came to me.
When I am totally alone free of distractions of all kinds and tap into those aspects of myself that I deeply love and experience in the relationship with myself, am I willing unselfishly and without any conditions willing to share that same love with another ? I know many do not delve into the aspects of themselves that they love or do not love. Long ago I received the Heart Knowledge that those traits and behaviors I view and love of another are only seen by me because they are the very same things I love about myself. Furthermore, the traits I cannot stand in another and the reason I want to take my toys and go to another sandbox as far away as I can get from the person showing me these aspects is because I do not yet love those things in myself. The projection of this is because everyone is my mirror..an illusion in a Skin of Humanness.
The bottom line here is Nature does not dislike or hate any aspect of herself. When a part of the Natural World dies, it simply changes into a blossoming and new creation. She teaches us unconditional love and acceptance. I have come to believe the chaos and separation of the disunity in the world right now is all about a Divine Invitation of coming back to Love. Humanity is not contingent on opinions, affiliations, theories , or anything other than remembering how to be love itself. Every issue, every judgement, every confused idea I have is because of what I have forgotten. I have a strong idea we each have forgotten also.
I assure you I have not yet arrived at the point that I love every single thing about myself and definitely not about those things others project to me about them (which is really about me!) It seems much easier to point the finger of blame at another being but we can see how well that works in creating transformative change. It never did work and never will. Therefore, the truth and the solution is to keep coming back to loving ourselves and offering that to other members of the Human Evolutionary collective, one little person at a time.
I welcome this Autumn of transition as I step into my personal surrender of releasing more and more judgements of all and every other who seems to be very different from me. I am going to give Nature, the Universe , other beings , and myself an opportunity to practice Loving all of myself and in turn offering that unconditional love to others. The other way has not worked so what do I or you have to lose by choosing a different perspective?
LOVE IS THE ONLY WAY TO RESCUE HUMANITY FROM ALL ITS ILLS- LEO TOLSTOY
In the world today maybe because so much has changed many are not lining up to engage in the experience of risk taking. There was a time I was stuck in the familiar. Even though some of the familiar friendships, partnerships , careers, and the town I grew up in felt safe, I had this gnawing internal rumbling that I was stuck in an uncomfortable place that felt like a sinkhole. Several areas of my life felt like they were gathering around me shapeshifting as a gang of vultures suffocating my inner Spirit. I wanted to escape but for a while I allowed fear and what I perceived to be fitting into society stopping me.
I don’t know exactly when I chose to become a proverbial cliff- jumper diving into a world of exchanging my old box of the safe known way of living for a life of adventurous daring to be different and re-creating who that scared rabbit I was but once I began, I kept diving deeper. If you think about it honestly a revealing aspect may be that the intentional ability to take calculated risks is crucial to humans and part of evolutionary development. I am convinced it lies dormant in our bones and DNA from our risk -taking ancestors. Those ancestors took chances to engage in revolutionary ways. The movers and shakers who journeyed before our time knew in order to progress it was necessary to pick up their backpacks of challenging experiences and take risks. When we hear and answer the same instinctual calling, the ancestral blood flowing within will be activated as we follow in the footsteps of the ancient ones who left their legacy for us to in the present time of seemingly confusion and angst to discover the benefits of risk taking.
Consider for a moment what your life would be if every day you did one thing that intimidated and scared you. By taking risks you may experience innovative and different connections, locations, and talents . Inventory and reflect what is really underneath your fear of the reason you are resisting. Part of the blocks holding many back from taking chances is the fear of what others will think and judge us. If we only could see by putting ourselves out into the world that we can be propelled and led to befriending new friends, mentors, colleagues of long lasting bonds, and choosing to participate in situations we never dreamed we would , I believe more of us would allow ourselves to dip our toes into risk taking waters.
You can start with a small risk . It is not necessary to begin with moving to another country. By taking your first baby steps you will get to see the magic and what has been hidden from you about life, and what you had not even considered before. When we are willing and take actions to undertake steps into the unfamiliar we expand and broaden mentally and emotionally, opening our mindsets to new modes of creativity and thinking. Pushing past our comfort zone limits is a catalyst to new growth adding a layer of innovative and increased perspectives.
Even more valid in our ever changing world of today is the benefit of experiencing greater and more efficient adaptability to respond quickly to changing situations and circumstances and in building flexibility outside of rigid thinking into a world of resilience. Seeing ourselves thriving instead of simply getting by empowers courageous handling of unexpected conditions with effortless ability.
By discovering a life filled with risks outside of the stale, routine boxes many have continued to sit in even with that nagging feeling there must be another way the push over the ledge of needing to find out something different just may be the plunge we each have searched for in pursuit of our heart’s desires by turning our dreams into daring realities.
“Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” -Helen Keller
I am sure I came out of my Mother’s womb as a fighting rebel. I did not want to be controlled by another . I had this stubborn streak that I felt I had to fight to be One who marches to the beat of her own drum. In spite of this I still allowed self doubt and fear to block my true self. For a long time in my life I wore a mask of hiding myself from the world, from my family of origin, from friends, from bosses, from co-workers, and from partners. I was not exactly a people pleaser but my self worth was wrapped in the belief that if I really showed all my essence, my identity… I would be rejected and criticized.
I made those whom I thought had control and authority over me in charge. Though I defied rules and social mores (at least in my mind) I still held back. I was an aggressive doormat! I freely gave away my personal power (the internal power within myself) often and vented about it frequently!
Many of us grew up believing there are types of authority we have to conform to and obey: Pay your taxes, Go the speed limit, Come to a complete stop at that red octagonal stop sign. Then there is a group of the collective who are so against the authoritarian rules that they refuse to go along with any rules of the world. On the other side of the spectrum are the fearful ones, who believe they must follow all authoritarian- based rules to the exact letter. Between those two groups is the real issue…the one I fell into the abyss of for a long while..my and maybe your ideas of the role authority and the power of others has over us. Until I woke up and really got it that my belief of the big, bad authority figures living outside of myself got to create and force choices on all the rest of us (especially on me) was not true!
The day I came to believe my personal power and internal authority was within me, not outside of myself was the day I knew I had choices, options based on MY core values…no one else’s. I no longer “HAD” to trust that someone else knew what was best for me..not my coach, not my therapist, not my romantic partner, not the deceased parent who lived in my head, not my medical practitioner, not my best friend. Not that all these people were always wrong about what I needed to do but my inner voice of authority and personal power was tied to my intuitive gut feelings and my internal LightHouse shining truthful answers out to my heart! However I learned too that it was important to discern the messages of the wise authority within vs the wounded other version of myself who tried to voice messages that still lived in my subconscious mind (those unhealed voices ).
Within that unhealed wounding also was fact that the emotional processing center of the brain convinced some of us to make decisions that were not so great. For me part of my learning to own and re-claim my personal power and internal authority was to tap into a new skill of emotional intelligence. To do this and to maintain a flow of it I had to get grounded and really pay attention to what I was truly feeling; to acknowledge both my strengths and my limitations ; to build self love and self confidence; to forgive myself and surrender mistakes (yes acknowledge I am a human being not a machine); to embrace change; to be vulnerable with others without having expectations of their response(s); and to have compassion and empathy for myself and for others.
Yes it takes work..inner work to keep our personal power and internal authority. The reward for me has been when I have paused, checked in with myself, and given myself permission to choose relationships and activities that are ones I truly want..not those someone else insists I choose or act upon there is an inner smile on my heart that extends to brighter eyes and an outer smile on my face! Choosing that no one will have the power to control how I feel , think about the world around me, or decide if my day is going to be amazing, magical and awesome or if it is going to be a depressive, negative one is why I love I learned and am enlarging still my own authority as I skip through this thing called my life.
“I saw that everything really was written there before me, and that the doors had only been closed before because I hadn’t realized that I was the one person in the world with the authority to open them” — Paulo Coelho
“It doesn’t matter how one was brought up. What determines the way one does anything is personal power.” –Carlos Castaneda
For most of my adult life I have celebrated the Summer Solstice as one of the most powerful days of the entire year. This year the Solstice will occur on the earliest date since 1796 and will be the day before a Full Strawberry Moon . In the Northern Hemisphere June 20, 2024 will be the longest day of the year, the shortest night, commemorating the first day of Summer while areas south of the equator experience the shortest day of the year as that location begins Winter.
I believe the connection with the Ancestors which I have been taught by the wisdom of Shamanic teachers lives in our bones. The Summer Solstice is celebrated around the world with various rituals in many different cultures. For me it is the celebration of Light as the magnificent sun casts His Radiant Beauty symbolizing new life not only to the crops of the fields, but also to our internal awakenings.
As you choose the ritual that speaks to your heart you may desire to ask What is calling you to put Intentions and Energies for Manifestation with the Light. You may choose to light candles outside under the Sunrise or Sunset of this amazing day, invite and invoke your ancestors who are waiting to offer guidance and assistance in the manifestations of your Sacred Intentions. You could go to Mother Earth and plant seeds of plants or herbs , symbolizing your intentions aligning with Grandfather Sun and Mother Earth. Do set aside a time of quietude and stillness , meditating in the present moment to receive Divine and Holy Messages .
Aligning both with the Solstice and the Strawberry Full Moon write on paper your honest negative feelings, emotions, thoughts, blockages, and fears. Burn the paper under either the Bright Sun or the Radiance of the Full Moon. Watch the burning as this is a Surrendering Ritual and create a Letting Go Affirmation such as ” Embracing the power of the Summer Solstice and Strawberry Full Moon, I now release all that is not serving my Highest and Best Good.”
Astrologically this time of the year welcomes the sign of Cancer. As we co-create within ourselves and in Connection with all Living Beings may we each choose to create new joyous adventures of the Light which lives within each of us and affirm Harmony, Love, and the Power of Being Alive sending out the Universal message of being Love Itself in all our thoughts, intentions, and actions!
“the summer solstice is a time for strength and vitality for action and movement” -Carole Carlton
All through history full moons have amazed and fascinated living beings! The energies of each full moon are available to us for three days when the lunar phase appears fully illuminated in the sky.. When the Earth is between the Sun and the Moon a full moon rises at sunset and sets at sunrise. Various cultures have used moon cycles to track time and many gave names to full moons often referring to specific climate occurrences or animal manners within their environment.
The 2024 May full moon occurs on May 23 with peak illumination at 9:53 a.m. Eastern Time in the United States in the astrological sign of Sagittarius. The most commonly known name of the May Full Moon is The Flower Moon due to the abundance of blossoming flowers, bushes, sedges, herbs, and trees. Other May Full Moon names include Mulberry Moon, Frog Moon, Milk Moon, Dyad Moon, and Corn Planting Moon.
As the moon reaches its cycle of full potential intensifying its energy, so often do the emotional energies of humans and animals .Because at this time the moon aligns exactly opposite the sun, a feeling of harmonious balance opens to our world. We can use each full moon to release and clear internal negative energies such as resentments, fears, attitudes, and stale beliefs that are blocking us from manifesting and experiencing the best versions of ourselves. Clearing negative energies we have been holding onto is crucial to create space for specific intentions we desire to manifest into fruition.
This Flower Moon in the astrological sign of Sagittarius offers each of us a sense of curiosity, inner strength, and self discovery through self expression of freedom within. You may want to ask yourself the following questions
– What facets and true gifts of your inner being call to be acknowledged by you that you are hiding from the world? -What limiting beliefs are blocking abundance in areas of prosperity, health, career, relationships, stability, or more? – what behaviors are you practicing that are roadblocks preventing you from blossoming into the authentic and truest version of yourself? -in what areas of your life do you perceive demonstrates a lack of instead of an abundance? – what do flowers represent and symbolize to you physically, mystically, emotionally, and mentally? – what wishes and desires do you want to manifest in regards to beauty of connections with people, nature, and yourself? – what and who do you need to release in order to create space for new blooms and blossoms to grow and expand?
Create a Flower Moon ritual . RELEASE:Do a fire ceremony with a candle or actual fire. Gather paper, pen, a glass of water , candle or wood for a fire. Write on paper all not serving your highest good . State aloud in “ I am now releasing _________“ . Always use present tense as this willingness happens in the present, not in the future. Burn the paper on which you wrote what you are surrendering. If possible, do the releasing fire ceremony outside under the energies of Grandmother Full Moon. Watch and observe the burning. Pour a few drops of the water onto the flames and offer the ashes to the Earth. Drink the rest of glass of water and give thanks. MANIFEST : Fill a large bowl with purifying water. Add buds , petals, or blossoms of flowers of your choice. (Examples:Roses for compassion and love. Daisy for gentleness of spirit . Cactus for joy. Hyacinth for constancy. Orchid for beauty) Take the bowl outside and reflect on your specific intentions you wish to manifest under the Flower Moon. Envision the intentions are already manifesting as you energetically send your intentions into the flower blossoms. Leave the bowl outside for a few hours or over night under the moon. When completed strain the flowers and give them back to earth. Fill a bottle halfway with the water. Add pure glycerin to the bottle for a preservative. Use this flower essence as a sacred remembrance of your intentions.
Find a grounding place in nature and honor the May Flower Moon . Take actions to align with your intentions as you go about your amazing life!
“ If the moon smiled, she would resemble you. You leave the same impression. Of something beautiful, but annihilating. Both of you are great light borrowers.” – Sylvia Plath
I have no scientific evidence of the evolutionary and revolutionary shift happening on our planet. However, as a visionary intuitive I feel in my bones we are being catapulted into a new dimension . Each of us are experiencing deep emotions that seemingly jump out and grab us …emotions we cannot put our finger on; yet , we know something feels amiss even when we have spiritual practices in place. Out of the blue the masses (or the collective as I like to call it ) feel confused, uncertain, emotional, apprehensive, and out of sync with what we believe is reality. I awakened to the truth long ago that everything is energy. When we fall into the dark crevices fueled by ongoing wars, political and civil unrest, surging and soaring financial stress, misinformation and distrust of information received, and rising fears of the unknown future the resulting depression, despair, sadness, uncontrollable tears, and anxiety create an atmosphere of losing hope. Even as I spend much of my time and intentions of radiating light to all living beings, there are moments I, too, forget that we are all Spiritual Beings having a Human Experience. My remembering and taking action to get grounded in Nature with a willingness to co-create with the Sacred and Divine always opens the door I have closed to reveal that flicker of hope that shines light onto the dark unknowing of what will happen to our world!
I am reminded of Brenè Brown’s words: “We need hope like we need air. Hope is a function of struggle—we develop hope not during the easy or uncomfortable times, but through adversity and discomfort.”
Knowing in my heart that we are really all connected helps my illusionary story remember I and we are never alone! This amazing time in the history of humanity , I believe, is not about the end of the world but is about each of us remembering what we have forgotten: Together we can do what we could never do alone in the journey of this thing called life! We COULD call it the end..the end of the old way of living our lives as we always have lived them and choosing to walk together into our collective vision of a world filled with hope. There is no question a major shift is happening. The evolution and radical transition of humanity is really occurring. This cannot be denied. Such a massive shift cannot go down being simple or easy.
I live in a residential community just a few minutes from downtown. Because I asked many moons ago to receive guidance and signs when I got entangled with confusion that blocked me from being comfortable in my own skin as long as I can remember deer have shown up in my environment everywhere I have lived and traveled. My backyard backs up to a vacant wooded lot , and deer not only show up in the woods, but often are standing in my side yard! I am not feeding them to lure them to me. They present themselves to me. Throughout the world and within ancient and present cultures deer have been cherished as a powerfully strong , graceful animal with a sensitive heart of compassion. Deer embodies gentleness, strength, and regeneration.
In this time of uncertainty perhaps we can each choose to be deer-like, and gather within gentle kindness and compassion not only to others, but especially to ourselves. Cultivating compassion for our human experience, even when we feel overwhelmed with not knowing how it is all going to be okay, can be a portal of hope. When we peer into the keyhole of that door confusion and fear has slammed shut and see that little glimmer of light on the other side we just might together turn the doorknob of change , cracking open the possibilities that humanity has been waiting for since time began for us to join in unified faith as a new species, a new breed of human beings as we co-create love itself! I am choosing to walk off that proverbial cliff of revolutionary consciousness with the risk to find out if I really had wings after all that will enable me and provide evidence I can soar above the confusing chaos. I hope you will join me!
“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness. We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose finite hope. Let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future.”- Martin Luther King, Jr.
How many times did you wish for a letter from Divine Source/Creator/Universe giving you explicit , step to step guidance that would take away your fears, worries, frustrations, and apprehensions offering you instructions of how to discover a more peaceful life? What if you knew you had been given signs all along but just kept ignoring them as life seemed to dish out one challenge after another…challenges you labeled fate, your lot in life, or experiences you proclaimed were thrown at you for the purpose of walking through for you to learn lessons?
It took me quite a few episodes of tripping over the direct messages laid out for my benefit before I was willing to get out of my head and into my heart and actually comprehend the Universe was always FOR me, and repeatedly trying to get my attention. I kept believing Life was a TEST!! Why did I not hear the whispering in my ear, the tapping on my shoulder of Sacred Messages designed to show me options that would open the door I had energetically held shut with my need to be in control, need to show the world what a go- getter I was, rushing hither and yon, and keeping myself as one of the ultra busy bees of the world ( believing I was succeeding and excelling in this thing called life!)
That dangling key that kept being just outside of my reach was not because life was a series of tests for me to master, but was so simple once I understood that when I slowed down long enough to be PRESENT in each moment, I was able to pay attention to the signs showing up in front of me! Universal Divine Source did not appear in the form of a burning bush, a golden hand reaching out of a cumulus cloud, or a rabbit jumping from its hole speaking profound words to me! My signs came when I was walking in the woods, cleaning the kitchen, even impatiently standing in the checkout line behind someone paying for 18 items in the 10 or less line.
What happens when we keep ignoring signs sent just for us by Source? I can tell you my experience with ignoring the repeated signs created major events that slowed me to a halt so that I was forced to slow down, reflect on the present state of my life, and finally listen on an INTUITIVE level from a deeper introspective mindset. One of the major events was what I refer to as my brain opportunity. At a time when my body was seemingly in tiptop shape while working 2500 miles from home I was brought to a literal stop with a hematoma and major brain bleed. I had miraculous healing, did not require rehab, but was unable to continue working in my long career for quite a while as I recovered from brain surgery. This bringing me to a complete halt gave me time to reassess my life, and my intuitive mindset persuaded me to awaken to the fact though I cherished my career, I was not living my true passion and using my inborn gifts to help others as an intuitive guide and healing facilitator. You do not have to have a brain opportunity to slow down and listen to your unique messages from the Universe but truly it is important to ask yourself if you are listening.
The Universe does communicate with each of us in a variety of ways all created uniquely for each of us. Some ways might be * through a random meeting with a stranger who tells you something that causes a deep resonance within you. When I was 20 years old an elderly woman told me to never forget each morning to light some candles in my home to bring out the light in me. Today I practice radiating light to humanity. * Synchronicities : thinking of a friend and then they call you “out of the blue”; *Seeing a series of numbers as in 555, 444, 111 : reminding you that you are aligned with the path or direction right for you *Hearing a certain song that was a song you liked the summer after you left high school may remind you of the excitement of a new transition or change that changed your life for the better * Animal signs in nature: Hawks always remind me to soar above my life in a way to view with observations of a deeper perspective * Body messages: Developing a sudden rash on your arm: may remind you to pause before making a “rash” or impulsive decision before sending a negative email to someone who has triggered you. * When several things happen at once: your computer crashes, your toilet is overflowing, your partner alienates you..all may be a sign to reassess what is truly important in your life
Paying attention to repetition of events such as leaks, breakdowns, changes in plan due to situations occurring just may be the Universe is trying to get your attention! I love Jack Canfield’s 5 Wise clues that help encourage me to listen to my received signs: 1. When we are experiencing joy we are doing what we need to be doing, and the sign appears for us to start looking for more opportunities to create joy in other aspects of our lives! 2. When we are experiencing pain that we cannot understand why it is happening, perhaps looking underneath the pain to an old belief/thought /unexpressed emotion that we are hanging onto that is not aligning with our core values. When we pay attention to the message under this pain and do inner work to change that belief that really is not helping us to be the best version of ourself, often the pain disappears and we return to that inner smile of being comfortable in our own skin.3. When something gets stuck in our head such as a song that keeps re-playing in our thoughts (“Let It Be”) or a reoccurring dream such as being back in a dysfunctional job it may be a sign to change how we are showing up in our life! 4. Paying attention to your internal messages because “we have all the truth within” can be a great tool ! We can tap into our messages through quietude and meditation and discover what we were not hearing before! Perhaps it is a sign to take another road of actionby changing our perceptions of the plan we were trying to force to work.5. If we are staying confused and not knowing which way to turn, we can always ask the Universe for what I like to call “A sign so big I can not possible miss it!”
Watch for signs and have trust and faith that the Universe is always FOR you. Divine Timing reveals events happen as and when they need to occur for our Highest and Best good! The Universe/ Source has been conspiring to bring to fruition the most wondrous opportunities for each of us…but we can be more willing to listen, to surrender our rigid need to continue doing things only our way and the manner we have always done, and to stop and smell the roses with an awareness that maybe..just maybe.. we are being given signs to awaken us to a fresh and different perspective that we had not even considered.
“Pay attention to the Signs of the Universe. The Universe works in mysterious ways, constantly sending signals that show you where you need to go and what you need to do to create the life of your dreams” -Jack Canfield
Carl Jung wrote and coined that our shadow is that part of our personality which is unconscious, that we try to hide from ourself because we believe it does not align with the ideal standard that we want to show the world in our quest to offer evidence of the best version of ourself. What long ago interested me was Jung’s theory that the shadow is the seat of creativity. Until we delve into “shadow work” we will more than likely project our unexplored subconscious upon others into the land of judging “them” as demonstrating unacceptable behaviors ..behaviors that in reality are those ideas and traits that we try to bury in a quicksand of hidden aspects of our very own darkness.
I personally have a history of childhood traumatic experiences that created extreme challenges in coming to terms with shame, guilt, fear, and constant self doubting behaviors. I thought if I ran and hid from my emotions using various addictions, wearing false masks of illusions, and the illusion I was in control that I was being more authentic. I was afraid to show the world the aspects of myself which I held the belief were taboo and inappropriate. What I was doing was imprisoning my creativity!
Once I befriended my shadow not only did I allow my creativity to emerge but I also began to heal my broken internal self and my heart opened not only to the outside world, but most importantly to myself!As I walked my journey on the path to getting closer to mastery some amazing revelations showed up. I saw gradually but more completely the Light within me that when radiating out into the world I was living my dream of being the unique person I only dared to believe actually existed.
Some examples you may resonate with of your own shadow: Self-Centered Shadow (excessive pride, arrogance with root cause of not being good enough); Deviant Shadow (Suspiciousness, Obsessive rooted in a need and desire to gain control) Controlling Shadow (Jealous, bossy, Possessive rooted in fear of abandonment); Detached Shadow (Emotionally distant, Lacking compassion rooted in unresolved grief sandwiched in shame).
If you are curious as to how to possibly embrace your shadow some ideas are: * Notice and observe patterns that keep showing up in your life (often in relationships of partnerships, friendships, supervisors, co-workers). The more willing you are to your patterns (which I strongly recommend in writing out an inventory and self witnessing of) the greater the reveal will be of how your shadow aspect is influencing parts of your life. * As you become your own witness and conscientious observer of your shadow see it without judging yourself or your emotions in a negative way
**** Shadow work with a licensed professional is extremely crucial because of the deep inner work you are working through***
Ways to tap into your creativity as you dive into Shadow Work:
-When your inner critic (in my case it was my inner Mother-critic who kept popping in until I learned how to use creativity as a solution) is showing up, use journaling to record what that inner critic is loudly voicing to you and challenge that sucker! Embrace the critic and create new affirmative statements and put them on sticky notes or make a vision board called “Creative Truths”.
-Regardless if you think you are not artistic, draw/paint/write/drum/create any form of music that will spark your creativity. This has significant impact to enter your unconscious mind, creating fresh perspectives.
-Be a proverbial “Cliff-Jumper” by trying new methods or ways you have never tried before and acknowledge through your shadow why you are holding onto the fear (maybe with claw marks before you surrender!) of why you are afraid to take risks.
Shadow work can be the key to unlock your creativity that you did not even know you had locked away…a key of inspirational tools of innovative, fresh ideas paving your road to authenticity and revealing to your inner self just how amazing you truly are. Shine that light on your shadow and integrate all of yourself !!
As much as it is my daily intention to stay in a place of balanced harmony there are times I get thrown off kilter with distractions that pull me away from my grounded center. Some people carry the illusion that a peaceful life means there is an absence of conflict and challenges . My belief is that times of challenges are the best and most rewarding catalysts that catapult me into being pushed out of my comfort zone in order to experience a fresh perspective about myself and the world.
The human experience comes with ebbs and flows of emotions that are often attached to the situations life offers us. How could we ever know contentment and joy without walking through sadness and the anguish of grief ? When I am willing to claim the truth that sometimes life can just be crummy I am in a state of awareness that it is just a time to hug that crumminess and not give up on knowing the constant is in change. Nothing lasts forever and this too shall pass.
I often write in my journal solutions I have found in my journey as a human because it helps me to remind myself of what has worked in the past. You may or may not relate that at an earlier time in my life I thought life was supposed to look like a 1950’s tv show where everyone smiled at each other and pretended there was never room for a negative and imperfect thought and action. I choose to no longer be one of the walking zombies with a big smile on my face 100% of the time especially when that old monkey wrench of strange challenges is thrown at me. However, during those times there are things I can do although sometimes a bag of chocolate chip cookies seems to be my first go to activity!
Some ideas of maintaining harmony and peace even when our life feels dark and conflicted:
*Write a gratitude list of what is actually good in present life
*Practice mindful breathing or meditation times without inserting a judgement of how you carry it out.
*Say no to people , activities, and situations that are draining our energy; create time and write it on our daily agenda things that really matter to our heart and soul.
*Spend time and connect with nature. Practice quietude listening to birds offering a symphony, put your hands in the dirt of Mother Earth, and go for a silent walk.
*Surrender unrealistic expectations we have of ourselves; Self compassion of self can lead to compassion for others and situations. Accepting our imperfect flaws of character is a step into loving who we really are.
*Create and cultivate a tribe of like hearted people including friends, professionals (such as a coach, mentor, or counselor) who truly support your well being even when you feel out of touch with reality and sane thinking.
Cultivating harmony during times of distress and challenge calls for intentional acts of inner work and awareness. Authentic harmony by no means does not mean all will be perfect or be without things going haywire. What it does mean is we can stay grounded in our inner resilience walking our respective journey until the sun shines on us again and radiates hopefulness as we trust the best is yet to come.
There is a part of my personal history that gave me a false sense of control and power. I believed for a long time because I knew lots of things about many different areas that it was right and my right to offer my brilliance to my friends , associates, relatives, and even strangers. If a Human Angel had walked up to me and asked why I carried this belief I would have not paused before answering: “I am being helpful to those I care about.” It did not matter that no one asked me for my unsolicited advice . I had the information and felt the need (which really was a compulsion fueled by another “C” word : Control) to tell another. You may ask what exactly is unsolicited advice.?The bottom line : Unsolicited advice is information and guidance that was not asked or requested. Advise probably is intended to be helpful and many of us (I am raising my hand) have offered suggestions and/or opinions , even may have told others what they need or ought to do without being asked. My giving unsolicited advice was wrapped in the sandwich of Codependency, Poor boundaries with others, and the rationalization I was trying to help when I really wanted to take credit for “fixing” or “changing” another. But you may think, am I not supposed to help others? Yes helping is a grand asset. However , repeatedly giving advice when not asked for any is really disrespectful, and a false assumption that another will be grateful for receiving information and opinions .
Unsolicited advice may even be delivered and received by the other as your superiority and Know-it-all personality. The person on the receiving end may feel you think you know what is best for them. An example of this is you overhear two people talking in a store..people you do not know. One is talking about wanting to lose her belly fat after having a baby. You invite yourself into their conversation offering your experience of being on a great nutritional diet you and your sister went on, losing 20 pounds each. The two people walk away quickly from you because 1. they do not even know you 2. they did not ask you and 3. they are offended and think you are judging their belly fat!
This may seem an extreme example but can you think of times you offered your wisdom such as over a person not having a cell phone holder in their car and while you are ridingwith them you mention they could get one at such and such store and hook it onto your car vent…or your friend mentions she just bought 2 pounds of pecans and you send her a recipe for a pecan pie without asking if she would like to receive it. It is great to offer your information but even better to be asked for your advice. If you are an unsolicited advice giver or know one , you may be aware you or they cannot stop themselves from giving advice, from posting on social media , or even delivering a gift of something they think you need “to help you out”.
Most of us who are adults have experienced way too long listening to a parent or person of authority telling us what to do, when and how to do it. We really would rather make our own mistakes and have our own consequences instead of being treated like a child in response to unsolicited advice. We also are very capable of asking for help , for opinions, or for information needed.
Have you ever heard in response to your unsolicited advice the receiver saying to you “Wow you have made my life easier by reading my mind and telling me the great way of doing these things because you know I could never figure them out on my own?”
Maybethe chronic unsolicited advice giver thinks they know you better than you or maybe they feel important giving you information you did not request. No matter what their intention or motivation is their advice that was not asked for can be annoying, frustrating, and even cause hurt feelings. Based on my personal experience as a recovered unsolicited advice giver I can share these thingsas to why people keep doing their behavior:
-They really want to help but either do not know another way or they feel they are being compassionate by telling you what and how to do something
-They really feel they know better or more than you do, and have an internal need to tell you about it
-They are living through their controlling ways and have evidence in their own histories that they are in control so they give out repeated unsolicited advice and opinions
-By constantly giving out information and their opinions (even when it is not wanted and rarely does the receiver do as they suggest) they feel better about themselves; thus, boosting their own low self esteem
Lastly, here are some ideas to handle unsolicited advice without losing your rapport:–
-Pause and take a really big breath. They are not trying to hurt you. They are demonstrating a habit they have yet learned to surrender.
–Listen with kindness . This shows YOU demonstrating respect. It has no bearing on whether you are willing to take their unsolicited advice…just smile and listen.
-Set boundaries with the person. You may have to be blunt if they are not getting the message that you do not need or even want their unsolicited advice.
-Finally if you want to try to walk a mile in their moccasins, ask questions to reach an understanding of their motivation in their behavior of advice giving such as Would you share with me why you feel I need to know this?
When the person, be it your friend, co-worker, parent, relative , or partner keeps offering unsolicited advice you may want to ask yourself how much do you value this relationship, and do you want to continue participating in it? Only you can answer this crucial question.
Before I received theheart knowledge that everything is energy, I thought I could just spout off words to anyone and there was no other responsibility linked to them. As I began awakening and learned how to create affirmations I slowly and gradually started embracing the understanding that my words..those spoken aloud and those spoken silently were heard by my brain as well as my body. When I made statements of disrespect to myself and my environment such as: “I will never get this right. ““I am stuck in this deadend job.”“I am not good enough “.“The world is too messed up to ever evolve now.”I was clueless that the energy of these statements carried POWER and I was actually creating my own reality that would manifest according to what I was telling my brain and the Universe! Once I opened my awareness to the fact everything is energy , and started paying attention to what was coming into fruition in my life, I made a conscious choice to change my spoken and mental wording. I assure you it is not easy to change the silent words spoken to the brain. It takes a disciplined and consistent focus to really listen. Though it took time and lots of practice my mindset slowly shifted. Once I was more fully awake to the truth of the power of spoken/unspoken words I decided to question how my words may be affecting other people and the world. Oh my…was this a huge awakening! Funny thing about those light bulb moments…once they tap me on the shoulder saying “Hey, pay attention to this!”other validations of the wisdom will appear in books, in movies, in speeches, in podcasts, from others who already had awakened before me!
Having this knowledge encouraged me to pay attention to the power of my words I used verbally and in writing emails, texts, and messages to others. Instead of allowing my impulsivity to send out communications in any form that was only fueled by instant unsavory and degrading energy which my words could create to another, I have learned to often stop and take a few deep breaths, chill , and re-direct by choosing kinder expression. I have been amazed to experience “helping spirits” appear like this prayer I heard once : “May the Angel of God sit on my tongue.” Once truth had finally filtered through my stubborn , rebellious nature of wanting to do things the way I had always done them, I am thrilled to say often I catch myself before acting in ways that go against the authentic ME I want to be. Though, not perfect, and knowing I never will be, I can keep aligning with my core values by practicing conscious speech and thoughts leading to actions of integrity.
The next invitation from the Universe and the Divine was to break through another layer of old ideas that no longer work (as if they really ever did!). This one was a long held belief that because I am an avid reader, a great researcher, and my ego confirming I had all this knowledge that could propel me through life better than ever I was doing a ok. In fact my ego tried to persuade me I could spout my knowledge to anyone who would listen verbalizing great platitudes of wisdom as I quoted Grand Masters, Ancient Philosophers, Poets, and even lines from movies. You may ask at this point, “What could be wrong with that?” My ego liked the fact others might be impressed that I could recite this wisdom , and perhaps the listener could even benefit from this action. However, here came the kicker: I was only STATING what I had heard or read..not APPLYING the platitude or quote. We can quote and recite until the cows come home but unless we actually put into action these things, we are just like an actor on the stage. We will not change . We will still be spouting and not doing.
The intentional acts of doing life situations differently than we have chosen to do before is a game changer. As I incorporated intentional acts of wisdom, spiritual and organic ones, I observed as my own witness the manifestation of a new version of myself. Long ago I was told by a wise sage applying new techniques onto old patterns of behavior have the potential to transform the old patterns. I believe the year 2024 will be a birthing of advances in communications, in problem solving, and in innovative and visionary methods. I have become convinced if I and the Collective of the rest of the world do not surrender the old Patriarchal and outdated ways that are sandwiched in controlling , fear mongering , separatism that Humanity will continue to sink into the proverbial quicksand aspects that so many are being swallowed whole and choking on it. The world is shifting and unless we each adapt to the changes with the integration of using conscious speech , conscious listening to each other, and intentional actions of co-creative union and insights fueled by shining our true light upon each other and the world, humanity will fade into oblivion. We each have the responsibility to do our inner work, daily put into practice our disciplined physical-intuitive- spiritual- acts , and embrace the truth that it must begin with each of us working on ourselves for the Higher Good of All. We can reach out to leaders and light workers of technology and the Movers-Shakers that are not afraid to carry the Vision of the New World if we are confused how to move forward. Together we still have an opportunity . Cowering alone in our darkness we will get what we have always gotten, and perhaps worse.
“To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe”-Anatole France
For a long part of my childhood into my adulthood I suffered from the “What If Syndrome” encapsulated within “I must know what is coming , how the players on the Stage of Life are going to act in their roles, and if it all will work out!!”
I do not know exactly when I began understanding that everything is Energy, but today I absolutely know it 100%. Once I started seeing how fear, worry, anxiety were brick walls I created in my mind and that they blocked me from being free and content, I became willing to find a way to live my life differently. Of course, it all goes back to that Reptilian Brain that sees the Tyrannosaurus Rex about to devour us. Ingrained old beliefs of our own making along with the ones the Collective carries can play out scenarios and stories we each tell ourselves. I have learned I can ask myself questions when I start to freak out that the worst thing I can imagine is going to happen. Mainly: “Is this true? What is my evidence? Who told me that? “
Because I have come to believe what the Ancient Ones knew …that Nature is our greatest teacher, I long ago began to watch Nature herself teach me. Does the caterpillar worry it will not go through its metamorphic stages and not transform into a beautiful butterfly with wings of freedom to experience its environment? Do the birds worry they will not have food sources when their world is covered in snow and frigid temperatures are a constant in the Winter? Does a tree that is burned during a Forest Fire worry it is doomed to be destroyed and will never sprout new roots and branches? We can learn so much if we will pause, observe, and see the magical elements Nature freely offers us to apply in our navigation out of our fears. Before I was willing to pay attention to Nature’s Wisdom there were some simple strategies I used to surrender my worries, concerns, and fears of not knowing what was going to happen to me, to my loved ones, and even to the world.
Before I share these ideas, I wanted to offer the underlying aspect of a need to know…Control…the need to be in control, the need to figure it out with our great intelligence, and the almost psychotic obsession to live out demanding it is our right to see what is coming in a future time when that time does not even exist..because all any of us have is the present moment. Yet, how many in the world are willing to become aware that Control does not even exist for it is for the most part just an illusion. Many will fight this idea because their thinking brain (the one that overthinks most situations) does not want to admit and accept life is not about control though many will use all the tools in their proverbial box of dysfunction to manipulate, exaggerate, and force things to be the outcome each hungrily lusts for!
Strategies:
Use all your senses when in the midst of creating a story of worry: Look/see, Listen, Smell, Touch, Move Your Body, Taste(the fear)as you are gathering evidence in your world that everything and you really are okay in this moment.
Get grounded into your body and breathe. Go for a brisk or power walk. Get out in Nature. Feel your feet touching the Earth. Grounding helps you get back into the present moment in which there is peace and safety.
Write/journal what you feel you get out of certainty. When you get to run your world write and do things within absolute control in your life. Do your to -do list. Distract yourself by listening to music, meditating, exercising, reading a book, watching a video. Eliminate those things not really important in the moment and do the things that are. This helps your focus to instill positivity instead of the negativity worry causes.
When we watch things unfold we get to really see how magical life really can be. I love that most of the time I am a proverbial cliff jumper..jumping off the next adventure and aligning with what is happening ..to the world, to the players on the stage of life, to my passions, and to my fears. As I jump not knowing if I will even land, my fears seem to vanish and I sprout Wings of Freedom and the better outcome is manifested! If I tried to plan this incredible way things turn out, step by step I would mess it up. In the process I am gifted with the Super Power of Not Needing to Know! I invite you to try it. If you are still not happy with the outcome, you can always return to worrying about what is coming next and believing you know. If that is your option, let me know how that is working for you.
“To attain knowledge, add things everyday. To attain wisdom, remove things every day.” ― Lao Tzu
“Life is not a test. It is a series of experiences in the Human Condition” – Jennye Johnson
Many moons ago a person of wisdom told me about the Sacred Mirror. This mirror says when we are in the presence of someone who exemplifies and demonstrates traits we love about ourselves , we instantly like that person and want to continue a connection with them. On the other side of the coin when we are in the presence of someone who shows by their actions similar characteristics we despise, loathe, or do not love in ourselveswe immediately want to walk away and never look back at that person. Our ego, naturally, will not want to acknowledge those personality flaws we cannot stand in another are equally present in ourselves.I have long held this theory that we choose intimate relationships to teach us more about us as we carry the false belief that the other has some hidden knowledgeof aspects we do not have, and our unawakened self believes being in a relationship with that person will guarantee wecan learn and embrace the ingredient that is missing in us!
When we meet others where they are at without a need to judge or want them to be some version we demand them to be, we are utilizing empathy, compassion, and acceptance. Practicing this skill is affirming and validating we are honoring and respecting the other person for exactly where they currently are in their life! Not carrying out this practice is a form of the desire to control another as we live out of the mantra: ” If you will only do and act as I want you to, then I will be happy; and, unless I am happy with your behaviors, I will try to manipulate and change you.”
Our internal awareness, for most of us, has not processed and had the Lightbulb moment that we are not meeting ourselves where we are at! We put pressure on ourselves to be perfect and our judgement of others is actually our self denial of unresolved issues of our wounded self who is only projecting inner feelings of inadequacy, insecurity , and being unlovable in the moment.
Whenwe accept sometimes we and others are only willing to take baby steps to change and evolve to a better version of themselves…or at times not willing to do any of the inner work it takes to changeour acceptance is showing compassion and empathy toward another and even ourselves.
Instead of telling our inner selves we are broken, beyond repair when we can give ourselves a break by self talking to our inner child and inner adult that we may not be where we want to be but we can have hope and faith we will get there when we do our inner work and/or work with a coach or therapist. Mindfulness meditation, practicing self love and self compassion activities are each valuable solutions . When we are ready , we can choose to inventory where we are at and what we would like to change that is blocking our inner peace. Reaching out to the members of our tribe we trust, finding professional help, and creatively designing new ways to replace old ways of living life all are beneficial.
The more we are willing to meet ourselves where we are at, the greater the likelihood of meeting others where they are at without our need to judge will manifest, and all our relationships and connections will benefit and thrive.
“Let go of who you think you should be in order to be who you are. Be imperfect and have compassion for yourself. Connection is the result of authenticity.”- Brene Brown
Are you one of the many who shudder at the thought of change? When situations, our playmates, our playgrounds change we may resist letting go of the familiar. We may feel afraid and unsure if we can handle the inevitable that change comes wrapped in and the fact that we are not in control. Research tells us the human response to change is not typically a pleasant experience. We want that safe feeling of being comfortable in our own skin which for most is staying with those things that are familiar , and change (uncertainty) feels threatening (much like when the Tyrannosaurus Rex chasing our ancestors created fight or flight) and increases our levels of anxiety and fear. Furthermore, our conditioned habits and routine activities we have grown to accept as our “normalfamiliar” ways of living are hardwired in our brain in the temporal lobe where stored memories and long standing habitual patterns exist. We no longer find it necessary to pay attention to these stored familiar ways and responses . The practice of our routines, habits, and familiar modes of behavior are so strongly incorporated into the basal ganglia (the group of neurons in the temporal lobe of the brain)that the brain taps into our stored memories of how we have gone through our daily livesfor an extended amount of time.
Perhaps you already are thinking you never have chosen change because even if unhappy with the current situations you have found yourself in, you would rather maintain the status quo than risk being in an uncertain and unfamiliar state. For a minute reflect back to 2000 when the world changed quickly or to five-ten years ago. Did you change your type of music or books? Did you change your style of clothing? Did you change friendships or partners? Did you change the food you ate or where it came from? If only one “yes” came up then you did choose change. These are very superficial examples of change. Why do you feel embracing change at this stage of your life would benefit you in any way or would it?
Before I offer some amazing benefits that may enter your life when you make a choice of change allow me to point out some changes you may have already experienced:
Separating from your parent(s) when you entered kindergarten or first grade; the birth and beginning of a sibling; moving into a new community and changing schools; getting your first taste of music or literature; graduating from high school and leaving home; getting a pet; discovering a hobby you enjoyed and engaging with it; learning a new language; going on your first date; traveling to a new place; making first and later other friends; falling in love, and much more!
Some suggestions to begin to put change into action in your life are accept that change will happen whether you agree to it or not; be open minded to the shifting of new perspectives and ideas; be willing to do and approach things in a different way; Challenge your old beliefs by asking yourself if they are really working for you today; work with a personal coach or mentor ; and use your fears as a teacher as you rise above them and feel them as you dive off the proverbial cliff that comes with the freedom of new experiences.
By being willing to embrace change even if it is scary we will most likely begin a new pathway for understanding who we really are , discovering our dreams for ourselves, uncovering our passions and interests. Change will be a catalyst to going past just surviving into the land of thriving. Every area of our life can be touched and improved upon with change. Change can open our mind and spirit to creativity. We can attempt doing new things and even learning from our mistakes. Mistakes are stepping stones to our internal growth. When we risk embracing change we can become more focused and discover the innovative life we want to be living, and act upon it. Change is like throwing a stone into a river: we watch it as it unfolds, creating multitudes of ripples that have the potential to affect each and every area of our life, even our personal relationships.Every change we take on is a portal to more beginnings and the entry way to living a magical life. Think of how the butterfly embraces its metamorphosis. Without change it would still be a caterpillar crawling on the ground without the freedom to fly!
“If nothing changes, nothing changes” – Donna Barnes
I am an observer …of my own thoughts and actions, and of those demonstrated by others. Lately I have noticed a greater influx of people naming their religious or spiritual Saviors . It is almost as if many claim to be devout -this or that- but continue to carry life time beliefs, unresolved issues, prejudices, wounds, and shadows. Fears, depressive moods, and feelings of not being comfortable in their own skins while quoting religious books and prophets seem rampant…more in the present day than ever before. Often the same people shout they have surrendered to the Divine or Spirit yet continue to display words and actions of not being at peace within themselves and relationships with others. Just as a garden or a landscaped yard becomes overgrown with weeds hiding the true beauty of nature, refusal to be willing to start and/or maintain inner work blocks any of us from becoming and being happy, free, and Consciously Awakened people. Many are more comfortable with pointing the long fingers of blame at those they label the problem “enemies” or “wrong thinkers” who do not believe as they do, who do not live life according to the finger pointer’s demands, and who cause more anxiety and fears to escalate inside the thoughts of these “blaming others” people who refuse to put into practice inner work.
Convinced these same people do not feel the need to look within because their “faith” or their “got it all under control ” ideas are all they need, make up much of the disconnected , confused, angry, and frustrated population right now on the planet. You may recognize some of them or even yourself by these symptoms:
*Always people pleasing * Low self esteem *Lacking self confidence * Self critical and disempowering negative self talk *Feelings of hopelessness about the world and Self *Repeated mistakes in choices and decisions *Challenged with levels of anxiety and panic *Poor sleep patterns * Chronic health challenges (that you call what happens as a person ages) *Re-occuring instances of sadness or high levels of anger *Experiencing dark nights of the soul. *Difficulties trusting yourself or others *Strong emotional triggers keep coming up *Feeling lost at the place in life you find yourself *Lacking motivation *Constant stress and worry over your life and/the world as it is *Frequently telling othershow to live their life and getting stressed when they do not follow your ideas and actions *Frequently irritated by others’ behaviors *Lacking direction and focus * Feeling overwhelmed *Disenchanted with others *Unable to forgive and move on from those who hurt them in the past *Chronically Tired *Loss of interest in those things that used to offer passion and a reason to get up out of bed *Sense that of not being where one wants to be in personal relationships, work, or leisure activities *Attachment to personal suffering : telling and re-telling the same story repeatedly of past experiencesto anyone who will listen or even in their own thoughts
Avoiding introspection of going within to come face to face with what has never gone away but is in reality lurking in the internal depths scares many. Inner self examination takes courage, time, and dedication to uncover past woundings that may include all types of abuse, stored trauma, and emotional pain…the kind of pain that has been stuffed deeply into the subconscious mind since childhood!
Inner work is not glamorous and not especially easy when initiated but it is a keystone and portal to awakening to an inner freedom that can introduce oneself to the amazing aspects of true self ….aspects that many dare not even dream about! The treasure grove of inner work offers many elements not only transforming one’s own life but transforms the personal relationships surrounding you too!
Here is a starting place for this work: First it will be necessary to identify behaviors that are actually patterns that block us from achievement of goals …goals and intentions that can empower specific changes. Starting with a simple goal is a great beginning. Examples may be opening to your creativity, improving your partnership or relationship with someone, starting or even creating a business or career, or finding what feeds your soul.
Once you can identify your patterns or blocks (often by consciously listening to negative and self defeating self talk), it is possible to re-state stale and archaic beliefs by re-programming them into positive ones. Create new and light-filled mantras such as I claim my ability to be creative and see myself expanding my horizons daily. Keep listening to your new ideas as you fuel them from your visions and dreams into reality.
Continue reading inspirational books, writing in a journal, walking in nature and the wilderness, and practicing mindful meditation to enlarge your inner work. Chances are you will see your own transformation that is ongoing and only strengthens your self esteem and self love!
Of course, if you need the help and support of professional coaches, therapists, or mentors do not hesitate to reach out. You deserve to step into your true essence and amazing self that has been hidden from you all your life! How exciting your journey can be!
“Hold yourself back, or heal yourself back together. You decide.” -Brittany Burgander
“Who you want to be is already inside of you waiting for you to confront who you are and tag them in to help you win the battle of the mind” – Sanjo Jendayi
Like many I have had periods of overwhelm, joy, losses of different kinds, self doubting and anxiety situations, and amazing surprises that have fed my soul! In my younger adulthood I carried a belief which later I discovered was false that when I was experiencing a set of not so great monkey wrenches thrown into my life that I would feel pulled down into the depths of darkness and stay there forever. Over time, and it took practice, I shifted my thinking. This was not a sudden shift, but it was revolutionary and shook apart my old way of perceiving what I labeled negative events. I have heard for a long time if I change my thoughts my reality changes. Easy , but I can complicate anything with my overthinking that sneaks in to take control of my visionary, seeing the world with a new set of glasses personality.
You may ask why would anyone want to change their mindset especially if that seems to be a challenging task. I am not suggesting we become a world of Pollyannas or Stepford People, denying reality. Acknowledging emotions of sadness, frustration, confusion , or disappointment , to me is necessary. Remaining in my prior stuck reaction to them is a choice. What has worked for me is learning new ways of doing old things. Guess what? This is the world we find ourselves in today. The old way of living our lives quit working, and we can either resist changing to innovative perceptions and solutions to situations or we can creatively design a new blueprint that involves stepping off our treadmill of “I know what to do” onto the sidewalk of flowing revolutionary steps of creating a different mindset. There is no longer a cookie cutter approach that will work .
Modifying my mindset led to peace of mind, being comfortable in my skin, and tweaking my modus operandi by:
Embracing change as a catalyst to internal peace. This has meant at times changing jobs even careers, moving to a new area, changing friends, and quite often changing how and what activities I spend my day and nighttime (for me stillness and connecting with nature was the answer.)
Working with a coach for support, talking with a trustworthy friend, and journaling about my feelings and perceptions has had amazing results . I don’t need anyone to fix me…I need to be heard without judgement and to hear myself express what I feel and think.
Daily setting intentions after mindful meditation and aligning with Nature and Divine Source has become the way I begin my day. There is magic in setting intentions that catapults me into activating concrete and tangible steps. Void of my old way to insist vehemently on controlling what I set, I can also change my intentions when they are no longer working…even in a 12 hour period of a day! I am more frequently now noticing if the old C for Control mindset sneaks in. However, still have not graduated to perfection so I keep practicing daily.
Listening to my sabotaging self talk and re-programming it with positive statements has empowered me to change those old beliefs that created self suffering because they did not work then, and certainly will not work now .
I am a visual learner so coming up with mental graphics such as turning the dial, pressing the switch to positive solutions (once I identify the old negative ones) , and visualizing seeing new codes of light that radiate all the way into each part of my body, mind, and spirit has demonstrated evidence to my smiling heartstrings I can shift my mindset at any moment.
Has it been easy to cultivate a new mindset? No. I have walked through repeating old patterns and thought I was failing at my attempts to change. Quitting my efforts would only be my old way of “I have to get this right or I won’t keep trying syndrome”Believing Practice makes progress and being a stubborn, rebel child with undying persistence has opened a new world where I followed the breadcrumbs left along the trail of New Possibilities . That trail is what myths are made of and those fairytales of magic really can come into fruition if only I and you believe we can shift.
“Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that, you can make anything happen.” – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I was born loving the magical element of Change. Most people want to maintain the familiar, the status quo, the predictable. Even though I often state I love change I do get that rush of adrenaline when change happens. I also have this little Fear-Girl who lives somewhere in my belly that gets twinges of resistance when change happens, but that has never completely stopped me from wanting to jump out of my routine existence. I think the mystery of wanting to tap into the unknown reminds me when I was a kid believing a monster was hiding under my bed, me wanting to peek to see if it was, being scared to look, but trembling with fear…leaning down and looking anyway!
My upbringing was pretty much routine so I did not inherit this trait from my family of wanting to be a risk taker and experience adventures. Maybe because I was born with strong intuition as a visionary, different from many peers, wanting to get the rush that comes jumping out of my skin when I came across mystically strange things that I welcome the unknown, most of the time. Then I have this conflict…in spite of relishing change part of me wants to know not how things are going to happen, but wanting to know how people and situations are going to behave and act when things change! I have carried this illusion for much of my life that I am supposed to know ahead of time how they and it will unfold before the actual event arrives! One of the greatest gifts that came to me when the world changed in 2020 was the truth that I do not know how anyone or anything is going to respond or unfold in a future time…be it 10 minutes, a year, or a decade from now. Thus, the secrets of the unknown is hidden from me. Especially in the last three years I have begun to embrace knowing I don’t know, and instead of trying to Control the uncontrollable I return repeatedly to this place of accepting the magical aspects of embracing the unknown! My exception usually though is still wanting to know if my romantic interest, whoever that happens to be at the time, will still be fascinated with my uniqueness. That issue…will continue to manifest in the future!
My creative personality that chooses to embrace the unknown has evolved to shift sandwiched by a few points:
Everything is temporary even though we may want it to be permanent. We fear that things will not last forever, and they will not! Once I can change my mindset into accepting this fact with the mantra “This to shall pass” I am a bit more comfortable with the walking into the unknown.
Times I have come face to face with the need to surrender old ways of doing my life because how I am doing it just is not working I initially have that Fear-Girl show up as I wonder….but who will I be if I let go of this or them? However, my own history provides evidence to me to that letting go of my old ideas, ways, and attachments always has been a path of Light with more authenticity and an even better version of myself.
Those situations , those losses, those unpredictable life, health, financial, love situations that happened when the Universe threw an unexpected Monkey Wrench at me (*ahem * without by the way asking my permission or approval) that I actually survived through them and climbed out of the quicksand of the experience proved how resilient I really am in the face of the Unknown.
My inner obstacles all have been wrapped around with my trying to live in the past that already happened or the future that may never get here, my overthinking that just makes me crazier, my lack of believing in the ability of myself to handle anything that comes my way, or my resistance in embracing that stepping out of my comfort zone will lead to greater contentment.
When I embrace the unknown as something magical and something I have absolutely no control over, it gets pretty exciting to see how it shows up, to be my own witness of new possibilities , and to allow myself to be open to amazing wonders I never saw coming! I think I will keep canoodling with the unknown and jump off the next proverbial cliff with my arms outstretched as I fly with the wind, carrying my little Fear-Girl in a safe pouch inside me laughing all the way to the next destination of my journey in this thing I call my Sacred Life.
It has taken me long periods of practice to journey that long distance: the one from the head to my heart of understanding and accepting how to nurture and create authentic connections . I believe all human beings, rather introverted or extraverted, have a craving for connections with others. Just being with other people does not automatically guarantee we have genuine bonds that fill our needs. Scientific and psychological research has proven that we each need to have connections in which we have reciprocal relationships where we are seen, heard, and valued so we can share our thoughts and feelings for the purpose of not feeling alone in the world. It seems to me that social media has many times replaced other types of interactions in which our need to feel joy, camaraderie , intimacy, and support when going through challenges of life has taken a back burner in our human experience.
My experience is my choice to reach out to connect with others has required courage on my part. Being vulnerable with another does not take away the initial feelings of anxiousness with butterflies in my stomach flying around but over time with practice I have come to feel safe and comfortable with those special friends and kindred spirits. However, in order to enjoy these relationships it has been necessary to discover who I really am..not the false sense of me who had different roles with different people or the inauthentic me who felt she had to wear a mask to fit in. It seems most likely until we know the internal and external authentic “real” us we will not be able to align with others who will always have our back. When we know really who we are, we know beyond a shadow of a doubt what is important to us.
Only after owning my self authenticity have I been able to move forward with my internal intentional choices of the kinds of personal relationships I desire and weeding out who is not worthy to be part of my tribe. Repeatedly I have observed that when I show up with honest intentions those with less than good intentions usually sooner more than later walk out the exit door of my life.
Of equal importance is allowing myself to be vulnerable in my relationships. By my opening the door of vulnerability I am creating an atmosphere for the other to also be open. This is how trustworthy authentic connections are formed and maintained.
Demonstrating evidence we are worth the nurturing investment as we set intentions to understand, share honestly, and support each other in all areas of our lives adds to our self esteem as we establish and grow together in lasting bonds with those we honor and respect. Creating authentic connections and releasing the inauthentic ones continues to flavor my human condition with a deeper sense of meaning and belonging.
There have been a few times in my life in which it seemed one change after another took over . During these times I do not remember requesting to experience this metamorphosis beforehand. However, for much of my adult life I have been that proverbial cliff jumper in which I just could not sit still in my day to day routine life. I think it has much to do with the fact I was born a visionary. You may ask what does being a visionary have to do with becoming a proverbial cliff jumper? To me having the mindset of a visionary involves wanting to make the world just a little bit better with my internal dedication that is fueled with my passions pushing me past my comfort zone. I never had to think outside of the box because even as a child I threw away what others’ conception of a box was and created my own versionthat fit me. By the way my box version is always changing too!
This year and it is only into the sixth month according to the calendar major changes have jumped into my life. So far six people I knew and loved have died, a major connection that I thought was solid has modified into a rather intense alteration, and two people I thought highly of have ghosted me without warning. In addition, work opportunities have slowed to a crawl.
Even though I am usually one who always looks for the silver lining and signs from the Universe I made the decision to first askwhat the heck is going on here? I am fortunate I have a small, yet powerful tribe of supporters that Itrust and can be vulnerable with which I definitely used in the midst of this series of experiences.
I did keep getting the repeated message in my mindfulness meditations and walking in nature that it is a time of Evolutionary Re-Set and none of us can effectively do life and its components the way we have always done it. I already knew the whole world had turned topsy-turvy even before 2020 when things globally came to a screeching halt and it was evident in spite of my deepest desire to have some control over situations that I had no control over that some Cosmic Jokester had ripped the bandaid of the illusion control really is right off of my tender heart .
Clearly I had been catapulted into a new transitional phase of my life. What I know historically in my experiences is to feel my feelings, to acknowledge each as they come up instead of the old version of myself , the one who became a scared rabbit looking desperately for a hole to climb into and hide .Today I know to turn to Nature who always offers amazing solutions. Nature never gives up before the miracle of her re-birth as each changing season occurs. She welcomes each seasonal and unexpected environmental transitions with Grace and Honor knowing with each change comes a new awakened opportunitysandwiched in growth, stillness, dormancy, letting go, and blossoming.
Finding my way in this transition has had these elements: * Stop fighting the changes *Trust the Process * Allow and embrace new perspectives to emerge out of what appears to be chaotic *Be open to opportunities to do things in a new, different way letting go of the “but I always did it this way idea”, *Be vulnerable and ask those I trust to listen and accept their support *Breathe and exhale *Meditate and walk in nature *Exercise the body * Find time for self-reflection and *Do grounding techniques.
Yes, big life changes and especially when several come at once can be challenging, but there is always a Light at the end of the dark tunnel. Endings always are followed by new beginnings. Death and Re-birth are transformational experiences. We cannot bring back what has died or left but we can view the new with a different pair of glasses, if we are willing to align with what was and what is now. I will never be who I was but I am grateful to be who I have become.
More than once in my life have I chosen to begin again or perhaps it was the Universe giving me the opportunity to do so! I cannot say which time was the most challenging, but I do know each time I wanted to be comfortable in my own skin in spite of circumstances around me completely out of my control.
Long ago I made the choice to be a proverbial cliff diver. Perhaps it was because routine has always bored me and I came out of the womb willing to be a risk taker. As a diver of various proverbial cliffsI have never been sure I would even survive landing but I sure could not avoid taking deep dives.
I observe many people wanting to believe living day to day in safe routines will prevent their worlds from crashing inonly to go into shock when life throws them unexpected situations. I do relish change. That does not mean I do not initially freak when it starts. After all I am still a human being with human emotions!
The cause of our respective world falling apart may be a single event or multiple ones showing up simultaneously: a loss of someone or a pet close to us, career upheaval, medical and/or mental health challenges, relationship breakups, or a pandemic that brings the whole world to a halt.
Through each of the times it felt like my world was falling apart : because it was!…after my initial stomping my feet and doing some loud primal screaming with mega tears, I embraced the situation as a Re-set. When any of us are willing to reflect back to past familiarity of situations, we might wake up to the fact during our entire lives we had been given a trail of breadcrumbs left by our pathway Creator of a better destiny. It is always the journey, never the destination . We have a choice to remain stuck in negative emotions or find our way through the cobwebs of change .
My experience in re-sets and new beginnings is sandwiched in some things:
–Acknowledgement and allowing myself to feel the feelings instead of trying to run from them-Listening to the messages of my body for the body cannot lie -Eating nutritiously and exercising – Making a daily gratitude list of what is currently present in my life -Journaling creatively as thoughts, fears, joys, inner Divine messages that come up, and- Watching life magically unfold as I choose to live my Re-set differently
I have no idea how my journey will end but I do know I trust the process and refuse to give up in my belief that the next time I jump off a new proverbial cliff my wings will open and I will fly onto a new adventure called Freedom of Spirit.
There have been two significant times of the year throughout my life that major shifts and changes have occurred that keep repeating in cycles of time. One has been a series of Decembers. The other has been between Mid March to Mid April. Decembers : December,1977 Graduated with Bachelor’s Degree. December,1984 Graduated with Master’s Degree. Several Decembers made big geographical moves. March/April: March-April 1964 Awakened from recovery of double pneumonia that almost took my life. April, 1991 Participated in a therapy group for childhood trauma and almost 90% of then friendships walked away from me. No one was mad or upset..just one of those big changes for me. April, 2017 had a major brain bleed and hematoma with no symptoms with an out of body experience at 3 weeks post brain surgery requiring no rehab stay because of miraculous healing!
I started driving across the USA to Chaco Canyon, New Mexico on a solo retreat around February-March in 2015, and continued to make this solo trip yearly with the most recent one ending in March , 2023. This experience continues to change my life for the better! This year I had just returned from New Mexico, and changes that occurred when a person I thought was close to me had stopped returning any correspondences with me without giving me a reason and a person I considered a mentor died from an ongoing medical condition.
I allowed the feelings to surface both from huge internal shifts in consciousness and from losses of people from my life. The past week I have been doing deep inner work and processing all these events. As I have done in my past I felt the twinges of uncomfortableness within yet knew change is such a great catalyst for stepping further into my personal power and pushing of an increased visionary evidence of why I am alive at this time in the world. I had to find those proverbial bootstraps and pull myself up once again. Believe me I reached out to several of those I call my tribe, but when I am needing to find my bootstraps there is no human to call on for help as I must do this inner journey myself. Yes, I have the support of those I trust but there are times I think we each must rely on Divine Source and our own inner strength that is always waiting in the depths of our soul.
The world has definitely changed in the past few years. I think we each have a choice. We can become an ostrich ,head in sand, and ignore what is being revealed right in front of our eyes. We can become angry and regurgitate repeatedly what we see as unjust and unfair. We can allow our fear to permeate all our decisions and choices and dive deeply into depression with some of us using addictions to cope. OR we can pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and embrace our inner strength that we were born with, becoming our own Ancestral Light that serves to radiate the Truth for ourselves as well as a beacon out of Darkness for others.
I am not content to sit back and let fear and anger rule my inner world. At one time I did not know a way out. Today my persistence and ongoing journey to becoming a better version of myself and a visionary leader in a confused world is the path I choose to take. Living in the moment, remembering I do not need to know how any of it will unfold continues to be the force that moves me forward. I am grateful I know I still have those bootstraps…sometimes they get hidden but they always are revealed to me if I do not give up before the absolute truth is revealed. This gives me hope, and I hope it offers you a ray of light if you find yourself in a darkened hallway.
How often so many of us hold on to ideas, situations, people, and things we love. Over time we may have attached to different aspects that initially we claimed to love and adore. Our attachment often is sandwiched in emotional clingingand refusal to surrender and let go. I remember a poster I had in college that hung on the wall of my dorm room. It was a picture of a cat with big claw marks and the wording was “Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks on it”. As I reflect upon my past I can see how often life brought me jobs, people, ideas, things, etc. in order to offer inspirational opportunities that came to me for me to learn fromand then move on. However, way too many times, I wanted to not let go, and as a result did not move forward with grace until I was able to wake up a bit in order to embrace many personal truths .
So many times I did not see the BIG PICTURE nor the forest for the trees. I wanted to cling madly to these things as if my life depended upon it. It took me a very long time, one filled often with pain due to my resistance in surrendering , for me to learn letting go is a major catalyst in my owning the gift of the opportunity of what showed up . Once I really wrapped my head around the personal truth that Divine Source or the Universe had presented me with this thing to learn and grow from I became very adept in releasing and surrendering. In my present life it has become much easier to let go without attaching emotions or my “claw marks” to most people, situations, and things. Maybe it became easier because I finally saw how much energy it took to hang on to things and people that no longer resonated with my core values or maybe it was because I finally began walking my talk of wanting to go with the flow in knowing letting go is a huge act of self love.
Accepting what is and is not in my highest good has taken lots of inner work . Several facets were revealed to me over time. Key were the following: forgiving myself for continuing to participate in situations that had longpassed serving me that I kept being part of as well as a need to forgive others for their part (in my lessons!) when I perceived them to be the problem; willingness to accept the powerful experience from people-places-things by not holding onto any of it and allowing it to fuel my stepping forward into a better version of myself; allowing myself to feel and acknowledge the feelings attached to the experiences first, and then surrendering the players and props on the stage of the lesson presented ; grieving the loss of people and situations as part of the human experience when I finally let go; and practicing self care by having the things I have surrendered to be replaced with a deeper kind of self love. Practicing mindfulness meditation and becoming one with the natural world (nature, the great teacher) has brought forward so many of these gifts when and only when I set the intention to live my life differently than I had in the past.
When we refuse to let go of those things we know deep in our hearts that need to go, we will only keep recycling our pain and fear , staying stuck in the quicksand of being in the same place or attracting the same person with a different face. I have come to believe it is not loyalty and love to refuse to surrender a situation, idea, or person that is blocking me from the sunlight of the Spirit of my own happiness .I cannot grow and glow if I am staying attached to something I really have outgrown and learned from. Once I really get this..and it is a very long distance from my head to my heart , and I finally give up the fight and struggle, and claim “enough is enough”, surrender and not look back, I have given myself the proverbial key out of my self imposed cell of unhappiness . That key is called freedom and for me today freedom is a requirement to living a magical life. The exhale that came with this life of learning truly makes my heart sing, and I am excited to watch more amazing things to come!!!
Part of my journey in claiming my Authentic Self and Striving to be the best version of myself brought the awareness that I wanted equal relationships within all my connections. To go deeper it was necessary I looked at friendships, partnerships, business, and family relationships. I have come to the place in my life that I was no longer just a giver to others (which I had been for decades) but I also am very gracious and grateful to receive. I came to believe giving and receiving are different but also can carry dualistic thinking just as good-bad, open-closed, awake-asleep are. When I became aware of relationships, especially those with a long history, that were not equal between them and me, it was a struggle to stay in those situations. Believe me, I tried to give the other person the benefit of my doubts, and an opportunity to choose to be equal with me. I saw myself being equal with them and wanted that history between us to matter. Those people who put me on a different plateau than them continued and I just could not continue as I always had. I verbalized to the ones in the unbalanced relationships my truth, and drastic change did occur. I have no regrets for living in my truth once I am clear and awakened it becomes a core value that I am not comfortable going against and ignoring. I do believe once we awaken we cannot go back to sleep.
The fact I observe many people who believe it is better to give than receive has recently triggered in a positive way why receiving is harder than giving. I have the history that it was important to recognize the needs of others and wanted to always give of myself, my time, and my energy and even material things . This is not a bad way to live life, but when a person is mostly a giver and has issues receiving offers of help, material goods, kindness I think there may be an underlying reason.
As I reflect on my own journey changing from only being a giver I realized a few interesting things. When we are only giving we just may be demonstrating in our subconscious mind we are a generous, kind, loving person, and often that is to pat our ego on its back . I had to ask myself what was my intention in giving. Was it 100% to be there for another or were there times the shadow side of my personality was giving to show evidence of my goodness, to “fix” another’s brokenness, or to avoid looking and ignoring my own needs (self care put on back burner)?Receiving involves intimacy and vulnerability. When I ran from intimacy I could not accept compliments, help, or gifts from another. Being afraidof that deep place within of vulnerability also blocked me from thewillingness to receive without having to give back to the giver. Big awarenesses to a person who had practiced life long years of co-dependency! I think the greatest part was discovering I carried shame from my early life and did not feel worthy and deserving to receive so I just kept giving….often at the point I was too drained to give any more but did anyway because I was stuck in my pattern of behavior!
Over the years I have learned to listen to my body having been convinced my body will never lie! When someone in my past offered me something whether it was an offer to help, to listen, a material object, or an opinion this was how I first became aware of how challenging it was to receive from another. I would get knots in my belly, shoulders would tighten up, or I would space out. It took me quite a while of being willing to receive as much as I was willing to give. My head would tell me I wanted to receive with ease, but my strong entrenched pattern of being Super Giver cancelled it out until I shifted. I honestly believe when I started taking risks to be vulnerable and to experience true intimacy with friends and others is when the heart knowledgeof knowing giving and receiving are equal partners.
I am still a person who gives but the difference before I make the decision for someone else that I know what they need, I ask them. My former pattern was to believe I knew what was best for others, and I would bulldoze over them with my giving and doing for a whole multitude of people thinking it was an act of kindness. Today I am aware when I do for others especially when they can choose to do for themselves, I am taking away their right to ask for help from them. That old way was pretty arrogant and selfish, I believe.
When I could not or had difficulty receiving I did not feel worthy and I felt unsafe. What lay under that was I did not trust myself or anyone else, and jumped right into trying to control who, what, when , and in what settings I was willing to give. Furthermore, because I carried this big need to be in “control” when someone offered to give to me I felt they had control on some level over me. What finally helped me was when I began trusting in Divine Source. I had to do that before I could transfer trust to humans. Once I had a better handle on trusting and believing I was worthy of receiving as much as giving, I woke up to a great extent. As with other elements in my life over time, inner work has been the keystone out of my self imposed prison of fear and confusion. Still after years of doing much inner work vulnerability can feel scary, but my history is the evidence I can pull up and see how beneficial my willingness to do life a different way really is not only for myself but for every person I am in relationship with. I come back to my need to have relationships of equality, and every time it has to start with me. We really do teach people how to treat us, and choosing the road to becoming the best version of myself is a high priority. As a result I can receive with a wide open heart without feeling guilty or that I owe the giver something back, and I can give to another without carrying around a hidden motive. Practice really does make progress!
I am constantly reminded when I pay attention and align with nature how my life flows easier. As I reflect on the harmony of how each season of the year teaches us I can apply that wondrous balance to my personal life. We humans often look at situations that we perceive to be uncomfortable and immediately want to reject what we see, wanting to change them into something more attractive to our minds. So often we view situations as not changing fast enoughon our egoic time line or a challenge presenting itself that we do not like …and we immediately want to jump in with our big stick of the illusion of control by stirring it to change the experience to what we consider more appealing. Many of us look at things as “broken” and we jump into the “I must exert my will and fix this !”
What if we learned from nature instead as the Ancient Ones did? When a tree dies the balance of nature does not freak out. Instead it waits until the complete death of the tree occurs and with time a new seedling emerges from the ground, creating new growth replacing the oldas nature creates room for the newly formed youngto begin its new cycle. Almost every time we jump in with our “self will and control attempts for forced change” instead of creating something beautiful we create chaos and confusion. When we are willing to accept the current situation with ease and grace, we are more likely to experience the magic of surrendering to what is in the present moment and to embrace a new beginning formed from an old pattern of behavior. This, my dear reader, is being willing to follow the path of least resistance by going with the flow. I re-visit this stage of my spiritual and life development again and again. Fortunately, for me and the best version of myself that I allow to emerge ,there are more time than not that I flow and resist fighting, allowing an acceleration of advanced stages of progress. My mantra that helps me so much: PRACTICE MAKES PROGRESS.
Some of my thoughts on how to follow the path of least resistance that I share with you are: *Instead of telling and re-telling the story that life is hard and unfair, create and happily embrace the story that the Universe is happening for me and each experience shows me how magical and incredible my life really is! * Celebrate that and those things which I currently have in my present life…in gratitude acknowledgment of everything that is going right! * Remember that childlike joy of looking up at images of incredulous amazing shapes in the clouds of dragons, rabbits, castles, and more and visualize magical events, people, and journeys coming into your life. If you can dream it, you can see it , and manifest it into fruition.
Choosing to go with the flow, living in the freedom of the path of least resistance just might show you another way to live life that youhad not previously considered. When things pop up that we may call a challenge or a crisis, looking first at the positives that are right in front of us; then, taking small steps to build a stronger foundation of flowing . I like to add short periods of stillness into my daily planner along with responsibilitiesthat I have signed up for.Getting off that phone and computer and going out into the Natural World has never failed to thrust me into the flow of that wonderful Universe that always has my back. The more I resist struggling by practicing the art of the path of least resistance, the more I get to gather oodles of experiences I did not even see coming. I will see you on the Power of Flowing!
Since childhood I have been connected to nature. However, I must confess there have been a few times I griped and moaned about Winter. I am making a public apology to the magnificent season of Winter now for that unawakened attitude! For many years I have been aligned in a deep connection with the ancient teachings of the Fire/Water/Earth/Wind elements and with all the seasonal changes Mother Earth has provided. Each moon cycle and all equinoxes/solstices as I continue to walk my talk in my journey have opened my heart to deeper lessons and opportunities . I know many enjoy nature but do not really connect to merging as an ally with her. I continue to honor with amazement the love and resilience of Nature to patiently wait for the multitudes of the Collective (who seem to ignore ancient teachings our ancestors lived by) to awaken to the Great Teacher that Nature is. Interesting how so many when forced to go into quietude and slowness when a virus pounced upon the world seem to forget how Nature began thriving without the populous running to and fro in search of proving achievement and chasing the money have returned to who they always were. Some occasionally go to nature for respite but many just continue running around like crazed rats in a cage either chasing the almighty dollar or needing to create constant distractions in the form of a need to participate in busy-ness. Then there are those who value what nature can teach us about each of us, and how our connection with Her can show a way out of a confused world. Perhaps the few of us who daily express our accolades for ancient wisdom that never died, only was forgotten and ignored , can help the Collective to once again remember what was placed on the back burner . The Earth will go on without us but will we choose to honor her by stopping our old, arrogant and sabotaging ways? I surely hope more will join consistently in applying Nature’s teachings .
In order for a tree to survive winter its roots have to be healthy. We also need healthy roots, a strong foundation in which we can be willing to surrender into a slower time, a time of reflecting. By reflecting we are not barren …instead we have an opportunity to be nourished from the inside. So many in our world think constant action equals growth and success. Winter’s gift is to slow into grounded stillness , that secret place where dreams of coming times can be cultivated and nurtured. Learning to adapt to changes are opportunities of reflective growth. Winter teaches we can catch up on slower activities that feed us: reading, sleeping longer, embracing the inner fire element of passions and protection. Words like snuggling, intimacy with others, fuzzy clothing, inner warmth can open us like no other season can.
When we choose to go outside in Winter we find a new appreciation for the Sun who shows up occasionally, not constantly. When we embrace a rare event we may learn to appreciate it more than when we expect it all the time. When scarcity of sun, warmth, light happens in our world we learn to express our gratitude of the experience.
Nature in winter offers a new perspective that we may not have even considered. As we go deeper within just like the bear in hibernation, we just may receive internal pleasures that never came from being constantly on the go, always needing to be involved in actions and flurries of activities. .Venturing into our darker caves of retrospection we can see the gift of stillness on our ideas, on our organs, on our thoughts, and even adapt to a calmer breath of peace.
Winter can bring our connections closer to us because of the co-creation of warmth within our respective hearts. Winter is not just another season. It is an opportunity to savor enjoyable idle and still hours of joy . So, enjoy that pot of simmering soup, that cup of hot chocolate swimming in melting marshmallows, and the dormancy of a more focused life as we catch more than a glimpse of what our priorities really are, and what really matters in our relationships, our passions, and our connections with the natural world.
I believe I came into this world with the knowledge of ancient ancestors in my DNA. When the world slowed to a crawl in 2020 while so many (were then and still even now, glued to computers in continuous zoom meetings) I was out in the world embracing nature. Somehow I knew that was the solution and gateway to the awakening re-set we were each being called to breathe into our cellular structure. Our ancestors and elders going back millenniums valued the teaching of nature and demonstrated it through various rituals and festivals. There is not a day that passes that I am not outside connecting with the wisest teacher available…glorious Nature. I am happy that I am not the only human being who knows this truth.
Winter Solstice is the shortest day and longest night of the year occurring in the Northern Hemisphere between December 20-23 and the shortest day of the year happens in June for the Southern Hemisphere. Scientifically and astronomically, the North Pole during winter of the Northern Hemisphere is tilted aways from the sun. Need more evidence this is not some new age , hippy dippy event? On the Winter Solstice stand outside at noon and observe your shadow. It will be the longest shadow you cast! Since the North Pole is tilted away from the sun the height of the arc is low so your shadow looks long! The sun is so low on the horizon that it appears to rise and set in exactly the same place. If you study Latin you will discover “solstice” means “sun stands still”.
Winter Solstice may have been celebrated since the early Stone Age. Many ancient civilizations created and built monuments to honor this Solstice. In Ireland around 3200 B.C. a tomb called Newgrange was constructed in which a tunnel faces the solstice sunrise into a chamber with a window bathing the chamber in glorious Solstice Light for 17 minutes. In Peru on the Solstice an ancient structure shows some of the giant monkey and lizard Nasca Lines touch the spot on the horizon where the sun sets. Similar structures can be seen all over the world aligning with the Winter Solstice.
If you get off your computer and phone and go outside this year, December 21,2022 you might spot Jupiter and Saturn coming together in the sky. Was this the “Christmas Star” written about in Christian belief?
For Solstice I decorate my hearth with pine boughs, holly and red berries, white and red candles , and pine cones . Adding pieces of nature into my inner world I write my intentions to be sent out to the Universe .
Even if we each may have forgotten the teachings of ancient cultures that wisdom lives within each of us. We value and experience the changing of the seasons . Some age old rituals to complete on this years Solstice that may resonate with your old soul are: Sit with pen and paper (writing it out as opposed to typing on computer opens brain pathways of creativity) and write each attitude, belief, and self defeating patterns of behavior you wish to release in order to be the best version of yourself .Look at any behaviors that are misaligned with your core values. Write them all down. Next reflect on any grudges, resentments either very present or buried deep within . Look especially at those things you have absolutely no control over. Ask before you write what would you have to do and who would you be different if you released these things? Once finished writing, create a Solstice affirming prayer or mantra , and place it on your Solstice Altar. On the night of the Solstice, take those written items to release and burn them by the light of a candle or lantern. Light radiates purification and truth. The Winter Solstice is a time of embracing the New Light. Now write at least 5 specific things you want to be radiated by the Solstice Energies. Leave these in a special place in your home to be opened in a year on the 2023 Solstice.
The Winter Solstice holds powerful opportunities to release and expand into a transformational new Consciousness not only for us as individuals but for the Collective of Humanity. Long ago I chose new traditions at this time of year to replace the old ones, and know in my heart all the Ancestors smile at this decision.
Are you practicing self abandonment ? How is that possible when you are always with you, taking yourself into all relationships, all situations? When we reject, ignore our needs and conscious desires, value time and energy we give others but do not value ourselves, criticize and judge ourselves with demeaning words and thoughts, and do not choose decisions and actions in our best and highest good, we are abandoning ourselves. We may intellectually comprehend what we want and need, yet choose to abandon and ignore those very things that would demonstrate self love and self compassion.
An example of how this looks. We arrive home after hours of doing a project or working long hours. Feeling tired and low energy, we just want to veg out on the couch and chill. We get a text or a phone call from our friend who wants to vent about her finances, her partnership, or her parent. Instead of giving yourself self time after the tremendously draining day you have experienced you immediately return the text or answer the phone call. After all your friend needs your great support and comfort. You don’t want to let her down so in spite of the fact you have no energy to give one more bit to another living being, yet you engage in the conversation with this person. Not only are you teaching said friend how to treat you…that her needs always come first, but you are also abandoning your own . Now , of course , being the kind person who wants to show all your willingness to listen and be there for those we care about is not a bad way to live our life. However, when this is a chronic and consistent pattern to make others and/or the job a priority , to put yourself and your needs on the back burner (thinking you will give yourself self care later after you attend to this friend), you return that text or call. You never want to let that person down . When we repeatedly do this behavior every time we are needed by another we are creating a pattern called people pleasing. We have taught others by our actions that no matter if we are sick, exhausted, or needing what we can only give to ourselves– self care and self love– we will put our needs on hold for our partner, our friends, our loved ones, or a work/ volunteer commitment .
Another scenario: we have been a social worker or other helping occupation for many years. We awaken to the truth that what really will bring us inner contentment and happiness is to follow our dream since early adulthood of being an artist. We share that with our partner or trusted friend. The response we receive is not supportive. or they do not even respond! Instead of pursuing our dream we stuff our desires deep down within often to make things comfortable and smooth sailing for our partner/friend. This behavior is not demonstrating that we value ourselves more than the opinion of another. We are practicing self abandonment in action.
Self abandonment shows up when our culture, society, or people close to us have certain expectations of us and our real needs and desires directly oppose those expectations, and we choose to follow the expectations of others, making a conscious choice to put our own internal desires on hold.
If you resonate with the following characteristics of self abandonment , perhaps this is your wake-up call to make different choices in order to value and empower yourself.
What self abandonment looks like in daily routines and life:*Hiding pieces of your authentic self: not sharing your true feelings as you give up your goals and interests that inspire you and not trusting your choices.*People pleasing: searching for validation of who you are, what you want to do in order to please and make another happy *Squashing, running from and burying feelings of not being comfortable in your own skin through denial, avoidance, distractions, workaholism and busy-ness or using mind altering substances * Not following your core values : Going along with others to keep things peaceful even when your values are being compromised * Not verbalizing to speak up for what you need: fear of setting and reinforcing needed boundaries as you allow others in any area of your life to take advantage of you * Refusing to respect and honor your own needs and desires: No consistent self care or even believing you do not deserve self care in the present moment *Perfectionism: Only feeling secure and worthy based on how much you accomplish and get done on a daily /weekly basis
Origin of Self Abandonment is usually from our family of origin or adult role models who emotionally, physically, or mentally were not present for us. The result we carried into adulthood showed up as feeling less than, unworthy, and undeserving of love and respect. This pattern , unless resolved, creates a subconscious one in which we choose friends, bosses, partners who are unsupportive and who do not really value us . Furthermore, we apply this pattern to ourselves! We are clueless of how to be our own best friend and cheerleader in life because we had no one present for us in our developmental stages as children when self esteem, self love, self value would have been molded for the positive creation of healthy, positive patterns.
The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself! You can choose starting right now to stop abandoning yourself and begin creating a partnership of love with yourself. Here are some ideas:
Ask before acting these questions:Is what I am about to do an act of self love without my influence of guilt, obligation, or shameful fear? If there were no others in the world but me, would I still follow through on this decision and action? What do I need right now and am I willing to either ask for it or to give it to myself?
Give yourself permission to be your true , eccentric self expressing and acting with creativity in how you dress, what you do for fun, how you pursue your passions, and how you show affection and intimacy. Choose to give yourself compassion instead of critical judgment of what you label inadequate shortcomings. Honor failures equally with successes. Who lives in your head that demands you must be perfect?
Finally, listen to your body and notice your feelings when you feel challenged. Know that all humans at times suffer and have difficult stages in life. When we acknowledge this, we are more likely to connect with others who also are demonstrating they, too , are human. Above all else be your number One cheerleader and advocate. When we stand up for ourself we teach others to do the same for themselves! Aren’t we after all worth it!